SC keeps threatening pets!

[yorkshirerose90]

As title says really. I'm fed up of hearing sc threatening my cats and puppy. For context they're 13 so not a little child. He does have behaviour issues and he's never actually hurt any of them but the constant threats are really getting my back up and I don't know what to do. If I say anything which I very rarely do as I leave it to my partner, I'm met with a barrage of attitude and swearing abuse. Partner is quite good at discipline sometimes but the relentless nature of his behaviour means he usually gives in before he should but that's a whole different thread. I've spoke to my partner and said I'm sick of it and if it carries on I don't want him in our house but that would mean partner leaving also and we also have a child together. I'm really at a loss. I'd never leave them alone coz I absolutely would not trust them not to hit the puppy when she's jumping excited etc. Anyone else had anything like this before and how did you deal with it? Or am I being over sensitive when they've not actually hurt any of them that I know of (yet)?

@mitogoshigg there isn't any specialist care or place to go. And he'd probably be treated appallingly there by incompetent staff even if there were such a place.

Why does everyone run to autism? some people are just nasty arseholes, no diagnosis needed, we need to stop excusing violent males.

THANK YOU.

There are plenty of men who are utterly disgusting who aren't autistic, but apparently it's the immediate suggestion for when a male child is violent.

It's ableist as fuck.

My son has got autism and he's not an asshole.

Thank you.
That's the point I was trying to make.
People on threads about violent children always suggest "residential care" as if there are a large number of such places in existence.

@NasiDagang yep my son too.

Omg i would not have stayed this long. Kick him and his kid out.
i’d do everything i could so that he could only have biological child in a contact centre or when he wasn’t around this child.
this kid should be nowhere near your pets.
this is not autism or adhd this is because his feckless parents have allowed this behaviour to go on for so long. He is very unhappy.
everything is someone else’s fault, sadly for him he will not go far in life without trouble and i feel for him, but this is not your problem. You need to protect your kids and animals.

Those are shocking updates. I would never support a father less contact with his children but in this case, the younger siblings need to live with their dad and the 13 year old stays with his mother full time.

He's already harming other children. His father needs to protect all of his other children from this violent child as a priority, never mind grounding him because he's mother can't be bothered. Neither of them have done this boy any favours by letting him get so out of control but one of them needs to protect the others and it's only his father that's in the position to do that.

If he won't step up and protect his younger kids @yorkshirerose90, you absolutely need to kick him out and protect yours and your pets. Until then no way would he be allowed in the house without his dad there.

Austic kids can be violent but they are more likely to be non verbal and have no other way to express themselves. Animals are more likely to assist with autism.

This child doesn't sound autistic at all from these posts, just a cruel, violent boy with no boundaries and poor parenting.

This is a hill I would die on. Abusive to children, threatening animals and swearing at adults and hitting his mother? Zero tolerance. By allowing this to persist for a quiet life your DP is making so many other people unhappy (and at risk of harm). In no time, this 13yo could be taller and stronger than most adults and the physical harm he can do will be huge.

As your DP won't address it he should see his son outside the house or move out and live with him. Hopefully you could agree he would visit your joint DC on his own when SS is at his mothers?

Who has the lease/mortgage?

Oh and harming animals is psychopathic trait - not to be ignored.

Anyone making threats to harm animals is deeply disturbed and you must make sure he is never around your home again even if it means booting your partner out.

Your partner and the boys mother needs to seek urgent psychiatric support for their son.

This is such a mess, I feel so sorry for all children involved.

As others have said, you need to protect your DS from this behaviour. You need to move out with you DS and seek legal advice on how to safeguard him when he see’s your DP. The fact that DSS is known to SS will be evidence of the risk to your DS.

Your DP also needs to step up and parent DSS. You say that 1. Social care are involved and 2. it was asked if DSS could live with you full time.

Are social care aware that DP declined DSS living with him full time? It’s really concerning that your DP can see that DSS isn’t being given appropriate boundaries by his mum, but yet is not intervening and seeking to have him living with him full time and if social care involvement is escalated then the lack of action by both parents is likely to lead to him being taken into care.