dp dd being jealous of my 2 dds, help

[newstepmum]

my dp has a 7 year old dd and she lives with dp and his mum, she had a rough start in life and has been with him for 4 years, she is so happy we are together 6 months now and had an instant attachment to me, but this seems to be going to far she gets cross with my 5 year old dd for hugging me pushing her out of the way,my dd fell over the other day and she just laughed and got cross with her for crying,she gets cross at the littlest things and screams its not far you love her more than me. how do i get the balance?

Oh poor thing. Does she see her mum at all? Do you feel you treat them all the same? My guess would be that if you do, maybe she sees your dds getting lots of love and attention from their mum and is jealous because her mum isn't there for her. That isn't a reflection on you at all, but she's still only 7 and has probably got all sorts of emotions she doesn't know how to deal with.

I know with dsd, when she's upset about something she takes it out on dd. What she can normally tolerate in dd's behaviour (that's just normal 4 year old behaviour) she gets really irritated with and she'll yell "oh shut up, just go away" stuff like that.

Can you do anything with her, just you and she on her own? Last week I took dsd to the cinema to see a film that dd was too young to see. Dh stayed behind with dd. She loved it and if I could have taken her for a "cocktail" and something to eat afterwards I would have done - hopefully next time I will be able to.

I have DSD who is 10 while my 2 DCS are 5 & 3. Much more demanding than she is. We went on holiday for a week over Easter with my brother's family and one day I took DSD horse riding while my DP & brother etc all went to a play barn. The instructor kept refering to me as "mum" but she was ok with this. She appreciated getting to do horse riding with me rather than crappy play barn.

Maybe Surfermum's suggestion is good - find something you could do just the 2 of you while your DP takes your DD out so you are seen to being "fair"

its hard but worth it - you are doing so well that she loves you already!