Screen time for step son

[fabulousnectarine]

H and I are wondering how much screen time you allow for your kids/step kids? Both kids (13 & 11) have phones and a tablet each. SS is also about to buy an Xbox (he saved up for it himself) which will be going in a 'communal room' ie not his bedroom, and others should be able to use the TV too to watch normally. H and I aren't sure what we should be going for with screen times specifically with the Xbox and also if we should let them have the screens even more during the summer holidays, and if so how much. So far SS has had pretty much free reign during summer holidays but he seems more tired and grumpy in the past couple of days, especially combined with not going to bed as early as before.

Obviously this isn't a dilemma specifically for blended families but I think there is the element of them going between the two houses (50/50) making it harder to get the balance right between doing what we think is right or best for them and not being too strict and being the 'baddies' or contradicting their Mum and other rules, so would love to know what others do - thanks!

We do as we see fit, which does tend to contradict their mothers screen time free for all.

12 going on 13 year old has a parent controlled time limit on apps such as TikTok (I think it's 30minutes a day) during term time and a block on her phone after 9pm but can still text or call certain numbers (her mum, dad and step dad) in case of emergency. They tend to get lifted in the holidays although if usage gets ridiculous (like 8 hours a day on snapchat!) her dad tends to put it back on for a couple of days.

Set your own boundaries - no need to base them on what happens at their mother's.

Easier to do this now than in a couple of years, too.

We were also strict on age-appropriate games for XBox. The 'everyone in my class is playing Fortnite' at age 9 didn't sway us.

Whatever ends up happening will be your DHs decision. It's how it usually goes, you'll have no say and if he's a disney dad there won't be even a discussion.

My SS is 9 and my husband limits him to 30 minutes per day. He can have this all at once or break it up into chunks. It is my SS’s choice how he rations it. It includes educational apps such as DuoLingo but does not include school-assigned apps such as Sparx for maths. However, the school assigned stuff is done with my husband sitting there too, helping and overseeing.

My SS has no diagnosed SEN but we notice a massive difference in his behaviour after using a screen. As soon as he has to come off the screen, my husband has the next activity lined up to distract him. Such as going straight out for a walk or getting straight into something like a Lego project. If we don’t do this, my SS melts down.

So, 30 mins per day is the short answer.

My own children have no small-screen or video game access, only telly for an hour a day on non-school days.