After the breakdown of my marriage (long and awful), I have had counselling and worked hard on finding happiness and fulfilment - and being the best mum I can be to my three children. I've also met an amazing man. We took things very slowly and have now met each others' children. Everyone gets on but there's no plan to blend families as we have our own lives in separate parts of the country.
However...I was so miserable for so long, with such a negative effect on my life, that I'm unwilling for anything to threaten what I've found now. There's a lot going on outside of the relationship. Just life stuff but it requires a lot of brain space. I'm not sure if my frustration is because I don't have the energy to deal with it or because it's not going to fit in with my life.
In a nutshell, his ex is very selfish and tricky to deal with. She is very scatter-brained so will change or cancel plans at the last minute - plans that include her children or affect our plans. It's a regular occurrence. It seems this has been accepted as part of who she is by those around her. He doesn't like upsetting her so goes along with everything, doing all the ferrying around and picking up of pieces. Sorting alternative childcare etc. She also wants them all to keep going on holiday, saying it's for the children.
It all seems quite petty reading it back but it's got to the point where I'm just waiting, getting increasingly frustrated, for the next thing to happen. I suppose I'm curious about whether you think I'm overreacting because I'm hypersensitive to finding myself in a similar situation as the last 25 years. It started off well but small compromises became major over time. I've said all of this to him. He's amazing but I'm not convinced anything will change. I have also told him it's not my place to tell him how to live his life or deal with his ex. It will just get to the point where I don't want to be involved any more. But it all feels a bit mean - he's trying to keep everyone happy. Hmmm....