Would court make her get a better paid job?

[ebadame]

I have two DSC. They are D so don't come at me with "poor kids etc".

Anyway, DH has moved jobs recently and is paid less. This wasnt his choice. He was made redundant. This job employed him. He is looking for a better paid job. I work full time. We have 1 shared DC

Ex-wife is making fuss over the reduced maintenance and is threatening court. I don't know why as he pays the legally owed amount. Yes in an ideal world he'd voluntarily pay more. However the ex has chosen to work extremely part time hours at minimum wage. She's well trained. The kids are at secondary school. She has more earning potential. Would a court tell her to look for more work if she took it to court. I suspect she's after my income but I understand that is untouchable is that right?

I'd argue you're telling people what they should do.

I personally believe children should be provided for within the family unit, if possible and you disagree. That is fine and the purpose of Mumsnet, to share different opinions and perspectives. It is fine to share what you think should happen, in the same way you've shared what you think the ex should do.

It doesn’t sound like the dad has done anything wrong and neither has the OP. If the children’s mother works minimally with secondary age children and needs more money she should be looking to increase her hours. What exactly is she doing in the hours that the kids are at school? Mortgage free and very part-time hours with kids at school sounds like she has a pretty good deal!

"The family unit" meaning the dad and op, and not their actual mother?

I don't think the ex should do anything. I just don't think it's the husbands fault she "cant" work.

Well we know he had a high paying job and paid what he was supposed to plus half of clothes, school trips, hobbies. Doesn't sound too shabby.

@ebadame this is a total non-issue.

first, family court aren’t interested in finances. The only ‘court’ she can take him to is CMS and he’s already paying what he should, so she can fill her boots. She has no legal grounds to get any more money from him, and even less grounds to get any from you. You don’t have PR for their child so don’t worry about it.

Sounds like a case of entitled ex trying to frighten you. I think this situation is all too common.

If it’s bothering you that much then your DH can go to CMS himself and get the official payment confirmed (if he doesn’t already go through CMS). This could be beneficial as it means he can close the case (rather than ex opening a case and dragging it out). It’s really not necessary though, she’s just trying to frighten you. Don’t rise to it.

Good to know thanks. She just bluffing then

Because of the distance between homes caused when she moved away

Email (from her)

Thanks. I'm not bashing the ex. It is a fact she has the capacity to work more. Much more.

It would be adequate if she worked more. But yes he does feel absolutely shit that he's had to take a massive pay cut. What's your point.

Because I said I'll ask mumsnet and said ok

Why? Is that info needed to answer my question?

Thank you very much that's really helpful. As I understand it if he pays direct then she gets more than if cms got involved ? At the moment he uses the calculator and pays direct. Perhaps he could agree to let CMS go through the paperwork and confirm the amount properly?

@ebadame I asked because you seem to want to go on about how high your income is and how you don’t want any of it going anywhere near your DSC, rather than being worried about how your DSC may be impacted. At least dad seems a bit concerned

Sorry what. Where have I "gone on" about my income. One post?

Dad is the only one that needs to be concerned, considering they’re his children and his financial responsibility. They’re not OP’s.

Oh have things changed, because I understood CMS was a maximum of 20% of the NRP's income?

I’m sure OP wouldn’t mind her money going towards her DSC during their time together, treats here and there, holidays, household things etc, but what I interpret is she wouldn’t want the ex coming after OP’s own hard earned money, while ex sits at home, working less than part time.

exactly the same situation here OP, I’m going to suggest my partner uses the calculator or goes via CMS now, as we’ve had the threats of a court order to get more money from him each month…

How much practical parenting does he do now and when DSC were younger? Who was responsible for childcare @ebadame

No, OP, your income is irrelevant. What matters is his, and if he has to pay less then there’s nothing she can do but make empty threats or accept it.

To answer your question his children, his responsibility. I would not worry about her taking your income she can not make a claim.

In a redundancy situation where someone has to take a cut when taking on a new job it is upsetting for both that person and anyone they are supporting to have to get by on less.

This ^^. Redundancy can be financially devastating if the person concerned can’t find an equally well paid job, which is often the case if they’re middle-aged or older.

A friend of mine was made redundant in his mid-50’s in 2021. It took him nearly two years to find a decently-paid job ( and even so I suspect he’s earning less than before). Luckily their children were early 20’s and his wife’s income could cover their bills.

Your DH hasn’t done anything wrong and he’s hoping to get something better paid eventually- that’s all he can do.

I'm not answering any more questions like this as it's just being used as an opportunity to man bash

Thank you. It's been tough on him