50/50 with holidays abroad

[chipsbeansandcheese]

My exh asked if he can take the dc away for 2 weeks in the summer holidays. I am ok with that, I will miss them but they will love the holiday and they get on well with his wife so I said that’s lovely go ahead and left it at that. It’s all booked and the dc are looking forward to going. It had worked out I was having the dc a few days before the holiday and immediately after for 5 days and back to the usual routine

We usually do one week each with the dc so I had booked my annual leave accordingly (before he mentioned the holiday).
the thing is now, he’s said he can’t keep to the same weeks with the 2 weeks he’s only allowed one extra week. I get this but I am unable to swap my weeks off now as we are only allowed one member off at a time and the others have already booked holidays and their time off.

so I’m kind of wasting one weeks leave that I should have with the dc and then having to use holiday club at £120 a day on a week I wasn’t originally going to have them.

What have other done in this situation? Do I just say yes that’s fine and pay the extra £600 for holiday club as well as missing time with the dc or say no, you need to find cover for your original weeks and because you’ve chosen to go away for 2 weeks then that’s on him? He won’t give me the money for holiday club. I just feel a bit hard done by here but also sounds like a fab holiday that I couldn’t ever afford to take to dc on so don’t want them missing out

He's the one that's changed things, so he needs to organise and pay for holiday club, and next time talk to you earlier so you can avoid this.

You aren't his partner now, you don't need to accommodate his poor planning.

the thing is now, he’s said he can’t keep to the same weeks with the 2 weeks he’s only allowed one extra week.

What do you mean OP, is he asking to change the dates of the holiday?

We usually do one week each with the dc so I had booked my annual leave accordingly (before he mentioned the holiday).

So when he said "can I take them away for two weeks" you and he should have confirmed - do you mean you want to swap this week for that week so they are with me two weeks and you two weeks?

Ie what exactly did you think it would look like? Why did you say yes if you couldn't swap the weeks?

I'm a bit confused now!

@Thursdaygirl no he asking me to change my leave so he still has 3 weeks and I have 3 weeks. I can’t change my leave though and when I booked months ago it I asked him if that was ok and fits with his plans. His plans have now changed so he is having one of my weeks with the dc and wants me to cover one of his.

That means I’ll need to use holiday clubs or juggle the dc between friends and family.

my hours are also sometimes longer in the holidays because it’s covering for others that are off work too

@whathasitgottodowiththepriceofoliveoil when he told me he booked a holiday, I reminded him that I had already booked my leave as we had previously discussed and that it wouldn’t be my preference as I can’t change my leave but that it will be an amazing holiday for the dc so I wouldn’t say no obviously.

I think he’s gone to his employer and said he needs the extra week for his holiday and they have said no he can’t have 4 out of the 6 weeks summer holidays off. It’s not exactly that as the holiday is thursday to Wednesday so the weeks are split but it’s the same amount of holiday

Surely he can use holiday clubs and pay for them on his week.

His issue, he can book and pay for holiday club, it's not your mess to sort out.

You just say "No, I can't have them on YOUR week, you will need to sort something. By the way holiday club fills up quick if you want to use that."

His problem to sort, not yours.

Can he not work out an extra couple of days holiday, his wife an extra couple of days and then cover holiday club for the rest?

His poor planning is not your problem. He should have made 100% certain he knew exactly what was happening before booking anything.

He can have the children while he works. That is what parents do.

This sounds like a him problem. He needs to use holiday club or make adjustments with work for the week they are supposed to be with him.

It is a shame for you it means an extra week with their Dad but can you do something you wouldn’t be able to do with children?