Uniform costs part of CMS payments?

[Odellio]

SS starts secondary school in September. Is it normal that uniform costs are split between parents in addition to CMS payments for the NRP? Or would uniform costs be covered by CMS?

@Arewealljustloosingtheplot great when you have a cooperative ex. Doesn't work when you don't. You can't force them to have it written in to the consent order.

@Arewealljustloosingtheplot great when you have a cooperative ex. Doesn't work when you don't. You can't force them to have it written in to the consent order.

No, but you can refuse to sign it until you get to a place where you are happy.

Right....

Or not it would seem.

Its the amount required to be paid by law. The minimum part is added by solicitors / websites like this one.

There are case of RPs moving things to CMS and getting less than they were otherwise. Maybe those are valid cases of a minimum but at the RPs own initiating

In my DH’s case it’s definitely the bare minimum he is receiving. It was a mission just to get her to stop ignoring his solicitor and sign for the damn divorce and financial separation (despite it being her choice to end the marriage and being with her new fiancé). It took 3.5 years in total so just getting divorced with a clean break became the priority so we could move on with our lives. She refused to pay any maintenance for 4 years whilst only having them for weekends. Since DH applied to CMS his ex has not declared her true earnings to CMS for 2 consecutive years. CMS won’t even say to him whether this behaviour has been fined etc and they don’t update the amount without her declaring it because he has no hard evidence. It’s paid by Collect and Pay, last year it was £30 a month or something silly. Now it’s like £120, I think. So yeah it’s bare minimum.

I guess there’s no one answer to my question, because CMS system is so flawed. I’m sure there are NRPs paying a fair amount that should more than cover uniform costs. But I don’t think that applies to us.

Technically CMS is it.

In real life a lot of paying parents go halves

No it's not the minimum. It's the only amount required by law. The law doesn't say "you must pay at least this much" it says "you must pay this much"

@magnoliablooms And the law also doesn't stipulate this is the only money you can spend on your child either. It says this is the amount you need to pay the RP towards basic living costs of being the child's primary parent. If a parent decides to pay more by contributing to their child's hobbies, education etc then their child is likely to have a better standard of living.

OP

I'm not for one minute suggesting that in your case its anything other than a paltry amount being paid.

I'm just addressing what is a pretty lazy narrative that CMS is the 'minimum' when it clearly isn't in many cases.

Yes and they may decide to do this without giving extra money to the RP.

They may do it when they have time with the kids.

@DWK123 I'm not talking about giving extra money to the RP but equally I'm not talking about the disney parenting that you are suggesting by spending more money on the kids when they are with you (assuming you aren't just referring to basic living expenses). I'm talking about contributing or paying for things over and above the basics. School trips, hobbies, clubs, dental costs and yes uniform. Things that are generally one-off expenses over and above the cost of day-to-day living costs that maintenance covers. You don't have to give the money to RP you can pay for some of it directly yourself.

"pretty lazy narrative" or just a different viewpoint to your own that clearly you don't like. I'm guessing you're male.

It is a lazy narrative as you're arguing that vastly different sums of money can all be considered the 'minimum'

It's quite entitled but hey how this is mumsnet...

Maintenance to me is to pay for the everyday costs, extras like uniform and overseas school trips etc should be an extra contribution although may don't.

I just stick with whatever CMS works out and don't have any further discussions about money, I'm the resident parent but have a higher income anyway.

Oh bingo..."lazy narrative", "entitled", I'm surprised you haven't thrown your other misogynistic favourite of "unhinged" at me by now. Yes this is "mumsnet" so quite why you are on here peddling your "entitled" male drivel is to be wondered at.

If a NRP earns more and therefore pays more maintenance (assuming they haven't paid a huge amount more into a pension to bring payments down) then yes I believe they should still contribute to one-off expenses that are not part of day to day living costs.

By your rhetoric a NRP who earns a lot less and therefore has less disposable income after basic outgoings, should be the only case who should pay for these one-off costs. You're saying the person who earns more and is more comfortably able to contribute extra shouldn't have to because they've paid their "bit" already.

Righty-ho.

@Singleandproud Agree it should be an extra contribution, although I'm not surprised many don't bother asking given the viewpoints of those such as @DWK123 and @magnoliablooms. Probably not worth wasting your time on.

Of course. There's just no "minimum" involved

Sorry? My DH pays above the amount the CMS calculation says he has to. He pays half school trips and uniform. He pays half of extra curricular activities on top of the maintenance. I'm not claiming he's anything special. I'm simply stating that it's not in law that it's a minimum.

I've made a perfectly valid point you can't really defend so you've gone on the attack.

I've mentioned upthread that I think in the OPs case the maintenance is paltry.

You're paraphrasing and deciding what my views are. Interestingly everything MN hates men doing.

A site by parents for parents. Unless it's false advertising 🤔

@Dwk123 you haven't made any perfectly valid points at all and you have completely ignored my points above about why should a low earning NRP be expected to pay extras but not a high-earner.

You went on the attack by using nasty phrases such as "lazy narrative" and "entitled", I was just throwing it back at you but apparently it's only OK for you to be rude.

I wasn't paraphrasing as I was quoting you and using the exact words you have used. Maybe look up the meaning before you misuse this word again.

@magnoliablooms that's great that your DH does that and the point of this thread, so I'm not sure why you didn't mention it before.

Yes I don't really see how its Disney parenting to say right kids you're with me this weekend so I've buy you more clothes as yours are too small and school shoes. Rather than give mum the cash.

I thought this covered it:

"Technically CMS is it."

"In real life a lot of paying parents go halves"

@magnoliablooms that's not Disney parenting as you are providing them with essentials. Also you've now said you pay for extras anyway, you just didn't make it clear earlier that this was the case in your own situation.