Hi,
I am struggling a little right now.
So my partner will stay usually at mine abohr 3-4 nights a week. He does lots of caring for me as I do recover PIP and LCWRA.
He has two kids that use to stay sunday-Tuesday, then jr was just Saturday night. Now it's Friday and Saturday night.
However sometimes they don't always stay the Friday, I don't have kids EOW so I like to make plans on my weekends without my kids. I ask him to ask his kids durn the week if they are coming both nights or one. Not to stop them but just so I know if I am making plans for just me, or for me and him. As if I do it for just me and he doesn't have kids I get whinging. He has a go at me for just saying please ask them, surely this isn't unreasonable,
However we have now got to a situation the 12 year old step daughter has fallen out with mum about some glasses as she lost hers so she needed new ones. She was nasty to her mum in the shop and her mum said she was grounding her. With this she says fine I'll live with dad (my partner.) she came and stayed her Friday and Saturday and went home Sunday. Told her mum Sunday she was going in Tuesday for sports day. Her mum said she was. So because of this the daughter then goes 'I will go to dads he won't make me' (one thing my partner is strict on is school, he complains at the attendance when they are at their mums and when I would take me kids on holiday in term time he would freak.) so he did make her go in yesterday. However I feel he probably has bribed her which is firstly wrong, second she was grounded if at her mums house. So surely he should be carrying this on and not letting her out with friends against what her mum said? As it just shows others he lets her get away with it. Her mum told me yesterday she got a detention for disrupting the class 3 times, this morning her dad met me for coffee and denied anything and said she was good. It's because he won't discipline her. I don't know how I can get him to see that by not discipline her she will think she can go to his everhrime this happens. One minute she's telling mum she doesn't want to stay at his wvquse of his drinking and thinks, and then tells us she hates her mums as it stinks of dog pee and the floor boards are rotting. To me it's a kid playing two parents against each other.
It's really infuriating me, as one he claims carers element for me as he works so can't do allowance yet he isn't here now the 3-4 nights as he doesn't know how long his daughter is living there. So I have told him to tell them he isn't anymore. Well he said it's just me throwing my toys out the pram. It's not. Now means he isn't seeing my kids as he is always at his house even on lunch breaks. But it's just everything like now she's complained her mum does nothing so he pays for hair, acrylic nails, eyelashes every month. Like she is 12! So she thinks his is a party. How to I get to him understand what he's doing.
He had a go at me this morning as she put soemthing pretty vulgar on Tik tok for her age and not appropriate; I told her mum (this was last week) because I knew she would get her to take it down and tell her off. I explained this to him and he said in should have told him first, I'm too much on her Mother's side and should be on his side more