Suspect step kids may have intentionally damaged my possessions

[Tosca23]

Has anyone had experience of a suspecting one of their step kids of damaging their stuff? I’ve been really annoyed as just had a new bathroom installed which my partner put in, new mirror all looked fine. Then day after the kids stayed, noticed there were about 10 straight scratches on the mirror, also big scratches have mysteriously appeared on glass table I have in kitchen/diner. Tried to replicate scratches on mirror to figure out how easy to make, and not been able to do…

I have raised this with my partner who has said there is no evidence how the scratches appeared and has said the issue is we have no evidence and got really angry that I think his kids would do such a thing. My gut is telling me these scratches have been made by someone....

How old are the children? Did your partner any alternative explanation?

I can’t think of an innocent explanation and they’d not be welcome in my house if there was no apology from them and backup from their dad.

Bit of an odd things for anyone to do. There are plenty of other easier options if they wanted to damage your belongings.
Why would you assume it was the children and what assume it’s been done on purpose?
I’m not surprised your partner is unimpressed by your accusations that you can’t ever prove.

But why not assume it was DP or an accident?

Thanks @LightDrizzle, my partner has teenagers and 1 younger child. One of the teenagers I have had concerns about previously. I had thought this child had improved a lot and turned over a new leaf in her behaviour towards others.

I think these marks have been made somehow, as when something is new, you notice if it’s damaged and think I would have noticed if it was damaged before. And there are alot of scratches which does not suggest accidental damage. My partner and I would have no reason to damage our own possessions which only leaves my concern that one of the kids may have damaged it…

But if you can’t find anything to replicate the scratches what could the teen realistically have gotten their hands on to do it that’s hard enough

Diamonds scratch glass, have you checked your jewellery?

Family meeting.

Scratching glass is a not uncommon form of vandalism.

Compass from school bag

Yes I think family meeting is probably the best route. Not sure how you prove it without getting cameras around the house which feels a bit nuclear.

I haven’t wanted to accuse anyone as would feel terrible to accuse without hard evidence. I have asked my partner to check all surfaces etc for damage so we can monitor. One of teenagers is very manipulative so if she has damaged my property, my concern is it is to get a reaction. I haven’t given a reaction at all yet to the kids… I have only shared my concerns with my partner.

The damaged glass table is second hand but again a ‘new’ item in the house as far as the kids are concerned - they don’t know it’s second hand. It only cost £70 from facebook so I may just try to get a replacement to see if mysterious new scratches suddenly appear. As if it happens again, then I will know for sure what is going on.

I make picture frames . Glass is easy to scratch. You can scratch it with the wrong type of kitchen towel. You don’t need diamond.

Scratches also don’t magically appear in glass. What OP describes has more than likely been done deliberately.

Sorry to hear this has happened to you OP. I've had my possessions stolen by stepkids, and then when they were not returned, the dog chewed them - does that count?

I believe your stepkids did this, based on the facts you have given.

Is a nannycam an option?

Family meeting is also a good idea (once you've tried the hidden camera) as the kids' reaction may speak volumes. They're generally shit liars.

Yes you don't have to accuse them. You just have to say look has anyone done this. If you want to own up privately then you can leave a note in x place.

I think you need nanny cams around the house when they’re around. Or security cams…

My ex (thankfully!) had a feral daughter who stole from me, broke things, stained things, she was ghastly and vindictive. I was always amazed at her resourcefulness, and the ease with which she’d lie. Her father thought the very best of her, I have a hunch she’s making someone else very miserable now.

We just know. Without a doubt we know! My ex would have accused my dogs of doing it if I dared suggest it may of been his kids 🙄

even if your partner thinks it’s not his kids he could support you by saying weve, key word presents a united front, noticed some scratches on said items. We don’t know how they got there if you do please let us know so we can avoid more damage if you don’t, please be careful as these things cost us a lot of money.

simple shit these Disney dads don’t get

@EG94 thx that is a great suggestion. My partner is a bit of a Disney dad I think…Unfortunately his ex dragged their divorce out for years and years so we haven’t been able to provide much of a united front yet….i am not the OW, as the ex had an affair and moved another bloke in, and I met my partner around 6 months after the break up. The teenagers have had no counselling to date, although I have suggested it on numerous occasions.

thanks - I try lol

oh I feel you I suggested counselling for ex’s youngest as he was struggling with the separation and me being on the scene. I offered to pay a third my ex pay a third and my ex’s ex (their mum) pay a third she was up for it until he said ok will be £25 each time suddenly her kids well-being wasn’t that important.

i think this is the moment I asked myself wtf am I bothering when their own parents don’t give a shit 🤷🏼‍♀️

@EG94 yes it can be tough for sure.

Did you get to the bottom of it OP?