I don't suppose the title explains much lol
Here goes..........I've been married to DH for 14 years. Have 3 grown up SC (19-25) and a dc of our own.
DH and I met a long time after his divorce so I am absolutely nothing to do with the reason for that (neither is he tbh, ex had an affair). The youngest doesn't even remember a time her parents were married and has only ever known her father be married to me - just for some background!
For the most part, I've never had a terrible relationship with SCs but that being said, it's never been fantastic either - not for my lack of trying over the years.
Anyway, the youngest SC had a baby very recently. This came after a 3 year hiatus in her and DH's relationship because she didn't agree with him not financing her leaving school to do nothing (literally, left school, no job, no intention of getting a job & her and her mother deciding that DH would have to support her financially - ummmm, no!). So the pregnancy announcement comes in the form of a text message to DH - whilst also telling him she was in hospital being monitored and that DH should send money to her so she can get some food & essentials - to which DH conformed.
Throughout the 9 months that followed, I found her a flat to rent (her mother wouldn't have her there), slowly built up a collection of baby essentials (next to me crib, nappies, wet wipes, bottles and much much more) in fact, when I checked, I actually spent near on £700! My DH has done jobs around the flat, moved all her belongings for her, decorated etc & been up and down the motorway (they live about 25 miles away) responding to her every whim, this also Includes food shopping we have paid for. She has a boyfriend, father of the baby, but it seems that now when SD calls, DH comes running immediately. Even this evening she has demanded DH drive there because she needed a form printed out and apparently she has no one closer to do this (bf has a car and is on paternity leave, all other family members live 2 mins around the corner).
Have just seen on SM that she posted the most loveliest message about her mother being the greatest ever human to walk the earth, has done everything for her, doesn't know how she would have coped with the pregnancy and birth without her.........literally like her mother is a living angel - don't get me wrong here, most of us adore our mothers don't we? But to think what we have done for her and what her father continues to do, this post has put hell in me! Absolutely no mention of DH anywhere. When we took all the baby stuff down, no thank you from her. She messaged me daily during pregnancy about stuff (even sent me pics of the 'show' to ask if it was normal!) asked about formulas, colic stuff & even asked me to go down to check everything she had was enough for a newborn. Since the birth though, not one message to me, not one photo, not one reply to my messages.
Am I right in feeling like we're just being used? Well, I WAS used, now radio silence, DH still having to drop tools for her demands.
Tbh, after 14 years I've decided to not give my opinion to DH anymore. It's been the only source of conflict in our marriage. I'm thinking I'm best off taking a step back now, if DH wants to be used then that's his choice but considering she has a mother, a family, a bf with a family too, I don't think it's necessary for me to be jumping through hoops anymore for her.
AIBU? Help! 😆😆