CSA increase

[cherrytree2]

Husband was paying exw £380 a month for his two DS. Access was set out years ago that kids stay over 1 night on a weekend. For over a year an informal agreement was made that they also stay 1 night midweek too, which has been continuing fine. Recently CSA has increased to £500 a month, after ex has been to csa. He was paying what csa has told him to pay. He called csa to advise about the extra night he has them and they said if she confirms this info then a new calculation will be done. She then messaged my husband and threatened to stop all midweek visits and she will not confirm the extra night he has his children. He has messages to confirm Thjs and messages to confirm his children do stay over an extra night. Is there anything he can do to with csa to look into this calculation again as the amount of nights are not correct.
He also pays for their sports clubs, school trips uniform phone bills etc too
Thankyou

Has anyone ever been through this thanks

She’s sounds like a money grabbing cow. I’d take her to court. Is there anyway he can have EOW and 1 day every week? That will reduce her money even further and with her attitude like that, that’s exactly what I’d be looking to do

Have you thought about getting a Child Arrangement Order to protect the days that he can have them? You don’t need a solicitor and it can be done for £210 plus a mediation session iirc.

Agree re Child Arrangement Order

Its hard to prove to CSA, but submit any evidence of his child staying that extra night be it text messages or emails etc

Thanks for your replies. she works in law so knows all the right things to say and lies to tell etc so partner wants to take her to court to get set days recorded but knows it will cost £££ which he cannot afford right now and as previous court appearances and experience in law believes the courts will just go in her favour.

Obviously your partner’s biggest concern here is how little he’s seeing his children. He must be very keen to change that as a decent father. He may need to go to court to do that.

This.

£190 per child per month for her 22 nights versus his 8?

Hardly a lot is it? I'm sure you'd spend much more if you were 50/50.

You can self represent. Lots of fathers do.

Aside from the court application, which can be waived based on your income, it won't cost anything.

If she's threatened this in writing then she's not being very smart or doing the things to get the law to work for her. He should screenshot that message and save it. Then he should apply to court because otherwise this is going to keep happening. He needs a child arrangements order. It doesn't have to cost anything past the applications cost. Because my priority would be seeing the children Id ignore the CS amount for the moment so I could keep seeing the kids while applying to court so I can get a CAO. Once I had that Id deal with CSA.

threatening to stop midweek visits so she gets a few more quid. The mum isn’t going to win any mother of the year awards either being so toxic.

He could pay the new amount but stop or reduce the other additional expenses so he still pays the same, assuming he can't reasonably afford both.

Then self-rep in court to get contact agreed.

DP had a CAO in place. He did pay solicitors but said if he had his time again would do it himself. It was expensive - there’s still a chunk of it on 0% credit cards but there’s nothing more important to him.

The CAO has been great, he doesn’t find out on a Wednesday that his day at the weekend has changed or the children are unavailable to him. He doesn’t have to beg for holiday time (has 50:50 holidays).

I suggest he applies for mediation and asks to formally agree schedule. And if they can’t pay for court and go himself. It’s highly unlikely he’d be awarded less time than 2 nights out of 7, especially if that’s been the status quo for years.

Self rep in court and ask for 50/50. Genuinely pay half their expenses for things you only need one of plus everything at yours . Far better

Yes that not right either but neither is paying so little for your children/not pulling your weight parenting.

£190 is a drop in the ocean compared to the actual cost.

I think to call someone a money grabbing cow who parents the majority of the time is quite rude. Don't you think? So the father sees his kids 2 nights per week?? Complete joke and pays less than £50 per week for each child..... I'm sure some people don't think before they comment on a thread.

So has he been underpaying for years?

He underpaid based on one night per week - not really dad of the year material!

She wants more monies ( not unreasonable> and his payments go up to £500 pcm. If I was the ex i might feel a little peeved about that.

Now he wants to claim for the extra night -go ahead - think you will find it only drops it by about £50.- 60 in total - not per child.

Calculate how much he has short changed his children on for the past x years and I would just wear it. Mum is not money grabbing - she wants what her children are entitled to.

no I think I’ve hit the nail on the head. She’s restricting access to get more money. Money grabbing. Putting her desire for cash over allowing a relationship with the child’s father. I stand by it. I thought and I comment and yes I reiterate she is money grabbing. Thanks for taking the time to comment

@EG94 less than £50 per week per child is hardly money grabbing you have extremely minimal standards. The father sees his own child less than 1/8 per year, he's as shocking as you.

😂😂 ok love. I’m not saying he is father of the year but I am saying to reduce the contact to get more money is money grabbing and two wrongs don’t make a right. You seem to have missed or skirted over as doesn’t suit you how he pays for additional things on top of maintenance too. I’ll leave you to your one sided views now.

I was waiting for the step mum to be told to shut up.

to be frank you also do not know the cost of the additional he is paying for. This could £250 for all you know.

you have your opinion, I have mine. I just don’t feel the need to call you shocking or pathetic as I don’t agree with you. But I guess that’s what makes me an adult. Enjoy the rest of your Sunday 👍🏼

DH needs to get a CAO sorted, it doesn't sound like this can be resolved amicably between both parties (although my DP and ExW were far worse than this and somehow managed to resolved it!).

DH needs to start the process by going through mediation (costs vary). If that's successful, DH and ExW can pay for a mediator to write up a CAO and have a judge sign it off. If not, it costs £232 to apply for a CAO via court and to self represent (lots of great online groups to help with this). If on a low income or other mitigating circumstances, costs can be waived.

What was the reason ExW went back to CMS?

DH can do this 1 of 2 ways. Try to be amicable and find a resolution that puts the kids first. IMO this also includes moving away from CMS (personally, I find they cause far more issues than they solve!).

Or, DH pays the CMS calculation and stops paying extras like phones, holidays etc. DH would then only be responsible for additional costs incurred at your house (food, clothes, days/ meals out etc).

The replies on here are so vile.
No mum should not restrict access to the children, but then their DF should ahve come clean and paid his fair share for the past few years. Neither shine themselves in glory here.

Just paying CMS and not contributing to all the other things that makes a kids life go round in retaliation is petty beyond belief. £450 pcm for 2 kids is not excessive and will not cover computers, laptops, phones etc and his share of this.

So sad that people forget who the monies are for - his children.