The ex’s best friends kids

[TayceOnToast]

This is so minor and silly, but whatever. Nice to laugh at something stupid every once in a while.

We live in the same small town as the ex. The ex’s best friend also has a kid the same age as SS7. The two kids are like brother and sister. It’s adorable.

This is going to sound ridiculous and so stupid but I find myself feeling awkward around this delightful little 7 year old girl if she comes round or we take her out for a play date.

I guess in a roundabout way it feels like I’m hanging out with the ex. Anything I say or do could get back to the ex in a heartbeat (and probably will). Not that I have anything to hide, I just always feel really self conscious and can’t snap out of it! Then I look at myself and think why am I intimidated by a goddamn 7 year old 😂

I laugh but it’s just another one of those odd things you have to deal with as a step mum that you would never have to deal with in a traditional family set-up. It’s so small and barely worth mentioning so you just plod on and pretend everything is normal even though a tiny voice inside is saying “THIS FEELS WEIRD”.

I know exactly what you mean. For me it feels worse as I've never met the ex and she's never met my DC, the DSC's younger half sibling. We explained to the DSC when they got old enough that both us and their mum should expect a reasonable level of privacy about what goes on in the other home. It's hard as obviously they need to be able to raise concerns with each other family. But friends are like an unknown entity especially when their parents know mum!

I think what you're feeling is quite normal actually. The acquaintance is not of your choosing and provides more opportunity for criticism should you wrongfoot it.

But wouldn't your SS tell his mum things anyway? I don't really understand why there also being another kid that visits both houses seems to be an issue?

I would imagine your step son will report back to his mother everything that happens in your home (definitely happened in my case and many lies to boot). This other small child is triggering you for other reasons.

I think it’s because she’s a girl and girls pick up more on social queues, boys don’t seem to notice or care as much

also I know my step son very well and am completely comfortable around him, I only see her once in a blue moon. And I know that to her I am the strange “other woman” !