Thing that make you eye roll (lighthearted…sort of)

[Shonamona]

I’ll start.

DH still cutting up DSS food (he’s 10).

Did he go to court for them or bring this up with anyone in authority?

If my kids were with a parent who was stunting their development, wasn’t giving them age appropriate independence and was therefore bordering on abusive, there’s no way I’d sit back and just ‘wait for them to figure out how toxic that parent had been’. The damage will already be done even if they realise in years to come.

It doesn’t sound like calling it out is enough if he’s still doing it. That will be very damaging to your child and also to the relationships between your son and his step siblings.

It's not that we don't want our stepkids to exist, actually mine are very loving despite the rocky start, what I want to not exist is the sheer awfulness of the ex. I've had racist, Islamophobic slurs, been called all sorts, and frankly, if I'd have known how awful she was, I would have run for the hills. If I want to let off steam on an anonymous forum I can. Don't read it if it's soooo offensive to your sensibilities.

Are you trying to get them full time or for more time. It sounds like they’re being neglected so the sooner they’re with you the better. Poor kids.

Not a Step parent but was a step child. Reading these hilarious posts makes me wonder if my amazing step mum was secretly seething... !!! The only time she showed even the mildest irritation was when we insisted on playing Murder in the Dark and seek and sat on her Swiss cheese plant.

Parents having kids but want gran parents to raise them yet get upset if the gran parents have other plans.

And the parents that molly cuddle and do gentle parenting to a whole new level.

I do think it's OK for step children to be a little more needy-they need more reassurance and affirmation...

The kids were there before you. You chose them because you chose him.

NACHO is a thing. We sought a romantic relationship with an adult. We didn't seek to take on that adult's responsibilities and grievances.

@HeavenSentScent
They barely come here as it is. If ex is distracted and in a good mood the boys are so pleasant and hugging and playing with me. But if she's annoyed then that is reflected in the youngest ones behaviour towards me. He will say that I just barged into their family, he won't come near me, he will be disruptive and aggressive. It's sad but obviously she badmouths me in front of him. And, of course, I am not allowed- nor would I- say anything to him about his precious mummy. I can only wait for them to grow older and see her toxic ways for themselves.

But you have basically said these kids are neglected yet your partner, their parent, isn’t actively doing anything to get his kids away from the mum that neglects them? That makes no sense. If she’s so bad, he needs to do more to get them to live with him, not leave them there.

They barely shower so we have to wash them and they eat a lot of crap. His own mum is a social worker so he knows he has no chance of getting custody as they aren't starved.
We just hope that when they are older they will choose to live with us.

So he’s not even trying to get more time with them when he knows his kids are neglected? Poor kids don’t have a decent parent between them if what you say is true.

He's been to court already to get any kind of access. I don't know what your problem is but I came on here for a moan not an interrogation. Do you feed your kids loads of crap or something?

No, it’s just awful to think of those poor children with such a neglectful mother who doesn’t wash them, feeds them unhealthy food, doesn’t provide suitable clothing and is hindering their education. I think a good parent would be doing everything they could to get more time with their children and it wouldn’t be hard to prove how badly neglected they are. Either it’s not true and/or your partner is awful to be doing nothing about it.

Because this is the step-parenting forum and people will do anything to project blame onto the Dad rather than the ex wife! This forum isn't a great place to be as a step mum recently tbh...it's certainly not a safe space anymore.

That’s bullshit. I’m a step parent and my children have a step parent and I agree with @HeavenSentScent . If my kids were being neglected, not being washed, being late for school etc when their other parent, I wouldn’t just wait for years to pass for them to realise their other parent was rubbish. It would be my job to step in and make sure my children are well cared for.

light hearted moan just ‘swapped’ weekends again.. so dp and I did 2 weekends, then went away for a weekend without dsc, now parenting again this weekend. Erm no, that’s not a swap.

Are we seeing the same man? My partner's ex doesn't seem to get the kids to wash and they tell me they eat for dinner whatever's easiest to consume in front of their playstations. She's a social worker.