AIBU step children stay over without me even being asked

[workingmum6]

I have my own ds with partner and three step children. We have them every other evening until they go back to mums as DH and I leave for work super early. We also have the kids every other weekend. The set up has been the same for years even before we got together and it works.

It's the school holidays right now and he's offered each one to stay an evening over night. This is fine and I have no problem but I didn't even get a heads up before he asked the kids. This weekend is a no step children weekend and he's said one of the kids are staying.

Again no problem with this it's their home too, however an ask would be nice. Weekends and weekday evenings with 4 kids is crazy, running in from work and trying to get a fresh dinner on the table.

AIBU to expect just to be asked before it's offered out?

Please don't judge or think I'm the evil step parent because I love them but I do also like my own time occasionally!

Why are you making this rubbish up? You are making yourself look very silly.

(I am the children's mother)

Why are they staying over night when not their weekend

You are being taken advantage of. The apple hasn't fallen far from the tree... 🌹

Who pays for all the extra mouths you are feeding? You are already the family skivvy. If you're not married you want to be careful you're not being taken advantage of financially.

I would've been annoyed if my dh did this. He never did tbh and always ran it past me

Purely on a practical note, you need to know how many people will need an evening meal, who needs a bed etc etc - these logistics don't disappear just because we're talking about step children.

It’s not a case of asking, it’s just being considered. You’re not being unreasonable, especially when it’s you who’s doing the meal planning & cooking.