Anyone need to vent

[Butterfly212]

Just seeing how everyones half term is going with fuller houses and if anyone wants to just vent in a safe space with people who understand 💖

not a step parent
never have been and never will
can’t imagine anything less appealing than living with children that aren’t my own
holidays must be hell

you have my full and unwavering sympathy

Not a step parent but just recently had a newborn 2 weeks ago and also have a 2 year old. Recovering from a sore episiotomy which the midwife swore would heal by now. My eldest is currently with my sister for a weeks holiday abroad which was planned so I could bond with newborn.

However my husbands family thought now would be the best time to visit and for me to host the. even though I can barely turn over in bed to breastfeed my son. They wanted to stay at ours for a few weeks but I shut that down. On top of this his sister brought their 2 kids who are 3 and 5 and the left them with me all day whilst she went out and my hubby was at work. Utter piss take.

I almost lost my shit come evening time and told them how it was. Hubby swears blindly he didn't know they would do something like that but at least he's on my side. Told them to leave and I was exhausted and when I'm feeling up to it which between us will be never they can come visit again.

I couldn't imagine looking after someone else's kids so really respect you for that. My own are hard enough but I can at least freely parent them my way. I could never discipline someone else's child or even feel like I could tell them what to do.

I feel your pain.

My SD (now 19) decided she would no longer visit 3 years ago.

The utter relief at not being ignored in my own home, eye rolled at, sniggered at or having to put up with her general unpleasantness has been immense.

She had a choice to never be a step parent.

indeed but given she was asking for support…. i don’t think necessary to point out 🙄

And that’s number one on the bingo card!! Massive congratulations to @pickupcar for being the winner! 🤣🤣🤣

Not a step parent but have my 4 nephews and niece every day this week plus my own son and 2 daughters and I'm pregnant so feeling exhausted so definitely feeling the strain especially while dh is at work as I'm on my own all day with 8 under 11 and a bump and as you can tell by the username I have a stinking cold and would quite like a duvet day.

I put this post on for any step parents that are struggling and need support off people in same situation not to point out things like we didn’t need to become step mums

Ah ignore them OP, same dickheads , different day!

come again?

Your siblings thought you (pregnant and with 3 children) is best person to look after 8 children ?

Bloody hell!! Go you!!! Hope you survive the week- hopefully they will entertain themselves and bring you the occasional drink!

bless you sending hugs 🤗

I think you’ll find a lot of us went into step parenting keen and optimistic only to have shit dads / Disney dads / unsupportive dads and then sometimes not very nice kids pop that happy little bubble! What we thought we were entering into vs what we actually found ourselves in often not the same.

i bet the irony is you aren’t even a step mum.

Thanks for this op. Just found out that dss is now staying til Monday. I had been told he was staying til today and was looking forward to being able to do some fun things with the kids tomorrow.

I asked dh what time he was dropping him off and dh acted all confused saying he had told me. He hadn't and this isn't the first time I'm just expected to be free childcare during the holidays. I'm fuming and I want to cry! Dss doesn't like to do anything other than play video games which means we stay at home or I take him out with a face like a slapped arse moaning the whole time.

how old is dss?

and you could take your kids out and leave dh and dss to game?

no way should your children miss out because of your appalling husband

I hate when they do that oh i told you they were staying until 6pm um…no you didn’t . They just do what they want and we have to accept it

100% this! People think we are awful for how we feel but they have no idea what it can be like.

Is there anyone on here who enjoys being with their stepchildren or having them all the time?

I'm not in a position to berate anyone btw. I'm a bio mum and have severe worsening health issues. It is so hard to hear that this is the reality for you guys when I think I may no longer be around for mine. I wonder if there are any positive stories.

Sorry to hear about your health 😢 most of the time it’s caused by the dads feeling guilty and letting their children disrespect us that over time it becomes so depressing and alienating.

Thanks butterfly. I hear this from people I know tbh. I would say my ex is very active and does alot with our son and his half siblings so hope that helps the situation. We both work hard on encouraging him to understand how hard SM works managing the house and all the kids. He sees that and understands it. It's difficult, I get it. 🙏

So don't provide the childcare. Just go on your excursion as planned before. If your "D"H is swanning off to work he can take DSS along. Won't make a difference if he's on his device anyway.

My 20 year old dss is driving me nuts.

He is here all the time. 'Works' for himself from the house, never goes out and is generally fucking irritating.

He never goes to his mum's either. He was meant to go to uni in September and now isn't.

How will I ever get rid of him.

20 years old! Hes an adult!

@brocollilover he's 10. Dh is self-employed and money is tight so taking too much time off is difficult. Also his mum doesn't like to take time off during the holidays either so she can take it off during term time and spend it with her partner. I had thought things were getting better , that is during the feb half-term she took some days off and so did dh.