Day out with my boyfriend & his son

[littlelup]

Hello!

I recently met my boyfriend's son for the first time - he's 6 and is autistic. We just sat in and watched a movie, he did speak to me a little and even fell asleep so I'm glad to know perhaps he felt comfortable and happy with me there.

On Saturday we are all going to the funfair together. To be honest, I'm over thinking it in terms of I want him to know I'm friendly and he can be comfy around me - but I don't want to be too over bearing.. but also don't want to withdraw because of that fear and not involve myself in activities. Does anyone have any words of advice on this kind of thing - meeting a partner's child?

I understand not telling him off, don't tell him what to do etc... I'd never even think of it. But I guess I just want some kind of comfort hahah. People who have been in a similar situation how did you handle the over thinking? I'm sure it will just be a happy and lovely day out! But I'm so worried of giving the wrong impression to either of them.

Please be kind - I've never been in this kind of situation and just really want the best for us all, especially my boyfriend's son. This asking for advice comes from a genuine place.

Thanks

i’m confused why he chooses to bring along his girlfriend to the first time ever he’s been out alone with his autistic son

and he chooses a funfair of all places

I was thinking the same thing!

for a 6 year old autistic boy on his first ever trip out alone with his father (who thinks perfect time to bring along girlfriend)

speaks volumes

I posted above that it never happened so I don't understand why you still felt the need to comment. I'm so sorry, but I only posted here for advice on how I could properly ensure everyone was comfortable on the day, I didn't want this. It came from a genuine place and I meant no harm. Thank you for your concern, however it's not my place to tell my boyfriend what to do with his son. If he had come and not liked it, we would have gone home - but as I said, it didn't, so it's all okay. Right?

because it is very telling that once first time out solo with his autistic child he chooses

a funfair
and to bring along his girlfriend

the ex made the right decision swerving this

I was upset because "ex" didn't have a problem when the funfair was mentioned originally, but then just didn't show up. If there's a problem, say something.. no? How is my boyfriend supposed to learn the funfair isn't an okay place to take him if he isn't lead by the one that knows the child most? And it has happened before for activities that do not involve a funfair, hence further my upset. I'm just trying my best out here.

Just be yourself. The fact that you care enough to post this tells me you're great.

Ok. Now I’ve seen it’s the first time he’s taking him out alone there is no way I’d go on this day out. Sorry @littlelup but this speaks volumes

I’m sorry your day out didn’t go as planned. See this as things to come and what your future plans entails. Ex unreasonably changing plans without notice. You may at times have parted with money and be out of pocket. Furthermore your bf doesn’t put the ex in her place. This now might seem like my bf is soo nice wait until ex is dictating more than she should and bf lets her. But watch how infuriated you are then. I guess we’re just coming from our own personal circumstances but this is not an easy gig. This is just the start of a very lonely frustrating life. Xx

o? How is my boyfriend supposed to learn the funfair isn't an okay place to take him if he isn't lead by the one that knows the child most?

bloody hell . He is the father of an autistic child.

common sense op.

and bringing along his girlfriend o. this inaugural visit, who the child has met once briefly…. op, it says a LOt about him

OP - this is the very first time he was going to have his son on his own?

He's been having his son every other weekend for just over a year now. But I really want these comments to stop now, I didn't want this thread to go this way and it's made me feel even more confused by the situation.

@brocollilover it's a difficult one when you don't know the situation, maybe. But as I said above I want these comments to stop now please, if that's okay. I'll take your concerns on board but please if the comments could stop I'd really appreciate it.

You got it, OP. Apologies!!

hide the thread 🤷

but on the face of it…. it’s good that this first time alone / funfair visit / get to know the girlfriend meet didn’t happen today