My son's new step brother is causing issues

[lindam23]

Hi

My baby daddy has recently got a new girlfriend who has a 6 year old son. My son is 5 and they seem to get on well.

Last week he came home with a massive bite mark on his arm. He said that the little boy done this to him when they were arguing. They seem to bicker a lot but I know this is normal for siblings etc.

He came home from his Dad's yesterday and asked me why the little boy is always horrible about me. I asked him what he meant and he said he always calls me names and says his mummy is a rat etc. He said he has only ever said it to him not in front of his Dad or anything but he has said it 'loads of times'.

Should I speak to his dad about it? I think it will just be him adjusting and he is maybe struggling as my son has to come back here every week and he maybe feels like it is my fault.

Not sure what to do but it has really upset me.

Any help appreciated.

Thanks

Baby daddy - hmmm

Of course speak to his father. How can he deal with bullying if he doesn't know it happening?

‘Very recently got a new girlfriend’ but they’re ‘siblings’ and step brothers? 🥴
Yes, obviously speak to the man about your kid being attacked and upset while in his care.

I would speak to dad. I wouldn’t blow up with any wild accusations (that this is coming from the boys mum or your ex partner speaking negatively about you in front of step brother) because you really don’t need it to become a ‘them vs me’ issue and you want it resolved, it does need to be addressed, because it’s upsetting your son & it’s being said without dads knowing about it. In front of your son personally I’d laugh it off ‘oh how silly, does mummy have a tail?! Does mummy live in a cage’ sort of thing, to minimise the stress he’s feeling, and to let him know that we don’t take mean kids seriously.

what did your ex say about the bite? I’d have liked to think he would have addressed that & been at least apologetic that your son has been bitten in his care, and assured you that it’s been addressed to stop it happening again!

is the ‘rat’ comment this boys way of hitting out because he was punished for the biting?

I would want this to be resolved before dad & his new partner get more serious & think about blending families in a together home, you don’t need the worry that when you send him off to dads for the weekend he’s going to a home where dad doesn’t really know what’s going on & your kid is having a hard time.

Unfortunately if this little boy is making nasty comments about you, given that he doesn't know you, he's probably repeating things he's hearing at home. Is your ex the type to say that sort of thing? I would just let your ds talk about it and reinforce that it's wrong to talk about people like that - give him a few set phrases he can reply with.

Physical injuries are a different matter. It's normal for kids to squabble, but the adults should be managing it actively and safeguarding your son. I would take photos of the bruises and send them to your ex; if he can't keep your child safe you will have to stop contact, he needs to understand that it's serious and get his shit together.

Im sure ive read exactly this thread recently???

They are not step siblings. Just dad being inappropriate with his boundaries. Moving quickly on so he doesnt have to look after himself or his child.

Your baby daddy? Maybe this is the problem? He doesn’t belong to you.

have a chat with him explain the difficulties ask him to sort it.

stop claiming ownership over him and maybe the relationship will improve

Send ex a photo of the bite.

Talk to your ex about the bite and about the stress your child is feeling.

stop inflating relationships. The son of a girlfriend is not a sibling.

So your ex ‘recently’ got a new gf, they have already introduced the kids and it’s not going swimmingly. Hmmm. And no, they are not step brothers, they just met! Speak to your ex asap

They are not siblings, they are not step-brothers, they are not related in any way.

Yes you need to speak to your sons dad.

Biting is awful and at 6 that little boy must surely know better.

People are being a bit mean on this thread. I'm not sure why.

OP, speak to your Ex about it if you have a good coparent relationship.

Did your Ex inform you about the bite?

Ok so I would speak to your ex and say look ds has said little Jonny has said x and he's making him upset. Can you tell me where this is coming from or shut it down ?

Also I seriously hope you got told about the bite mark by your ex because I would go bananas if my child came home from her dad's with a bite mark and no bloody explanation?

Re ds - keep it light hearted - like previous poster mentioned do I have a tail ? Isn't little Jonny being silly, such a silly thing to say. And reaffirm that if ever ds worried about anything he can talk to you.

Just have a chat and go from there.

Are you British?

Baby daddy is a revolting term. He is your child's father, your ex husband or ex partner.

Your son and the boy are not stepbrothers or siblings.

Right ...other than to berate op - does your post contain anything useful to contribute to ops actual question. ?

Do you feel better for saying this ? Come on now.