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Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

Troubled family

2 replies

Annegoodman · 31/01/2024 12:25

So I’m step mum to 3 kids and mum to two. Mine are 19&15 two girls my partners 16,14&13. Boy n two girls. The middle child is a nightmare beyond nightmares. He has custody of his eldest two son n daughter. Mother was neglectful and they have suffered trauma cos of it. Anyway my SD was a nice kids when I met my partner 3 nearly 4 yrs ago. I knew she had a few issues but I never thought these issues would become a nightmare. We think she may have been groomed or is grooming others as we found images on her phone. The police have had to investigate this we found a second phone as well same stuff. She steals from me my daughters. Money not pennies actual cash we’ve lost prob near £100 through her stealing she has entered my bed room without asking and stolen makeup of mine. Ok yeah most girls do this. First time I’m upset u didnt ask but if u want we can buy u some. Second time we put a lock on the bed room door and I stop leaving anything around for her to take. Third time she’s taken my keys hidden them in her room entered my room and taken my stuff again. Cameras are placed round the house to watch who’s doing what cos she lies she’s done anything. The only proof I find is it’s in her room when I search it. Partner doesn’t really search her room. He’s tried the telling off the grounding the normal stuff shall we say. We have social services involved section 47 due to runaways and vulnerability. Counciling is 18months long waiting list we’ve been on it 18 months n still nothing. She has stolen off her friends mum. She’s tried talking to her but like I say she said it’s like talking to a brick wall. She brings trouble to the door all the time trouble In school. SS do nothing to help it’s all action plan this and action plan the other and nothing happens. Myself and my partner have been given little to no advice or help in how to deal with the behaviour other than try n reward anything she does. Anyway it’s all come to a head ive lost my temper with her and SS have removed her from our home and my partner has left. We’re still together just not living together we have a mortgage I’m now
paying for. I’ve asked SS for support to try n repair my family. I’ve sought help
woth my personal development as my
mental health has dived into the pit of dispare. Has any of you been through similar can you help me or point me in the right direction for help.

OP posts:
Pickles2023 · 31/01/2024 12:32

How bad was the arguement for her to be removed?

If it was me i would just seperate with my daughters. Its no life and home to need locks on doors and cctv :(

Sorry it sounds far too stressful and you have no parental rights to have a lot of input for your SD how is your DH at the moment with the seperate living? Where have they gone? Has SS given any suggestions or advice regarding repairing the family?

Annegoodman · 31/01/2024 12:43

It was a bad enough and I said I can’t have her in the house for now. And tbh she doesn’t want to
live here either. She pushes away her dads female partners. Yes it’s stress full but I’ve had no help or advice. Shud have been on here ages ago might have helped. DH not happy with leaving the home but he feels he got to for her. I get that I do. But I feel I’ve been dismissed my feelings dismissed. I’ve just really struggled cos
my girls were never like this. It’s hard

OP posts:
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