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Trying so hard to deal with DSS

3 replies

diggy1 · 26/12/2023 13:30

Hello, please don't take any of this in a wrong way it's a long one but I could use advice.

Dss came to me and his father when he was 5 now 12. I've understood his background more as I went through the same thing as a child so I could bond with him a lot as a child from this but since growing up he has got more ignorent/moody towards me. He doesn't listen at all when I ask something but will when his dad does. I go to the ends of the earth to make sure he feels just like my other kids I don't ever make him feel left out he gets the same " love you have a nice sleep" and protection as any. I'm very protective over him when he goes out as he's getting older and the streets are scary these days. In general he's a very quiet kid and he's a good kid too especially at school. I ask him why he doesn't listen to me he just shrugs his shoulders. His dad asked would he listen if his dad told him not to do the things I ask him not to do and he said " yeah I'd listen ". I just feel drained I don't know how else to treat him as I give the same punishments to my other two kids if they don't listen which is to take a item they want for a day if I have to ask twice for them to listen. I try really hard and have proved to him that he is my priority also he is my son just like my other kids he's no different even if I didn't birth him. He just doesn't seem to listen or want too

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
diggy1 · 26/12/2023 13:47

Update- forgot to say, he has developed this really bad attitude towards me which again is a little bit of a shock as he's normally a well behaved child. He doesn't speak to his dad like this. He will give me attitude when I tell him it's time to come off the Xbox as it's late etc.

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Justanything86 · 26/12/2023 14:05

I think this is classic teenage boy op and probably less to do with you as a person and more to do with hormones and wanting to reject female authority. I don't really have any suggestions op but maybe just reminding yourself it's a difficult stage and keeping behaviour consistent until he grows out of it might help you mentally?

diggy1 · 26/12/2023 15:32

@Justanything86 , I thought this myself with the change in age but it just seems that if his dad tells him the same things he does it with no fuss or attitude. But with me he slings his things around the room looks at me with anger and has a serious attitude but this has just started he's normally lovely , I understand he's been through a lot with his birth mother when he was younger and he has a lot of questions and that's exactly why I make sure I'm always there for him but it's just really hard when I'm trying to set and example for the other two younger children and there wanting to copy him Yano? He's admitted to his dad he doesn't listen to me but will listen to dad, I don't know I will just leave him be and make sure he knows I'm there regardless

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