I'm really starting to get irritated with everything going on. So, I had my bio daughter on the 29th of November and we introduced SS4 to her on December 9th. Everything went good, he wasn't too interested in holding her much and he came back to our house for our full time schedule of 2-2-3 on the 10th. Things have been going well and he's adjusting to her well but lately I've been feeling he's getting a bit more clingy then I like. He's been constantly asking to hold her and not really listening when we tell him no for whatever reason she can't be held. He's always around whenever I'm doing something for my bio daughter whether it's changing her diaper or clothes or feeding her. I breastfeed so I try not to have him around because it makes me EXTREMELY uncomfortable because any time I try to breastfeed her he's always up in her face near my boobs. He also goes to daycare 3 times a week and goes to his grandma's house 2 times a week. He gets sick quite often, almost every other week or two, and it usually happens from daycare because other kids are sick. His grandmother has been sick for over 4 weeks now and won't go to the hospital so he could get sick from her as well. So it makes me extremely weary of SS4 touching her because I don't want her getting sick. She was barely two weeks old when we introduced the two of them so I barely have had time to just bond with her without him being around. I also come from an abusive family so my maternal protective instincts are on overdrive as I want to protect her. DH doesn't get the severity of my protectiveness and anxiety as he likes to pass our daughter to SS4 multiple times like she's a toy or something because SS4 will take her, give her back to her dad and repeat the cycle 3 or 4 times until he's done holding her. SS4 also doesn't really hold her properly as he will sometimes lay her in his lap and not support her head or he will let go of her bottom half while he's holding her in his arms and joke about how he can move his arm while he's holding her. He can also be a bit aggressive with her and poke her in the face too hard and think it's okay because DH never says anything about this. He also gets mad whenever his dad says "okay, she needs to go to bed, or we have to stop passing her around," which only happens when I say something to DH because I'm getting irritated or concerned. Whenever I say anything that irritates me SS4 doesn't respond to me, and will only listen to his dad (if DH even listens to what I say) or if I hold my bio daughter too long SS4 will complain and say "She's held her for so long," and will sometimes give a look my way as if I'm not supposed to hold her long. He also hasn't fully come to terms that I'm her mother because anytime we've told him he's got a deer in the headlight look on his face like he's lost and will divert the conversation.