Teenage Step son ARGH!!!

[landj]

Been a step mum now for 6 years. Step son now 13. Always been a pain for his mum and step father but fine for us. He has always played nicely with his half brother and sister (my DC) even though there is big age gap. Recently, step son become moody and sulky. Put that down to being typical 13 year old. We only have him everyother weekend, but we live a few miles from his mum so when he's with us he cant see his mates. Also, my husband is a taxi driver so is not there friday/saturday nights. Never been a problem before, but now step son doesnt want to come over. Me and DH have been expecting this, why would he want to sit in with me on a saturday night? Its not like he even gets to see his dad until sunday pm. So this is was step son has asked, if he could just come over sundays. We are fine with this but his mum says NO!

Hmm. That's a difficult one landj. Is it possible to have have him sometime in the week instead, then he would be able to see his dad more and socialise with his friends at the weekend. Or is it too far for you to get him to school?

Or how about asking him if he'd like to invite a friend over to stay sometimes on Fri/ Sat nights. Or finding out if there's some kind of activity he could get involved in on Saturdays close to where you live, somewhere he can meet other kids his age.

I really can understand that he wouldn't want to miss out on what his friends are doing every other weekend but it sounds like he does get on well with his younger siblings and seeing them less could jeopodise this relationship. But if he's not seeing his Dad till sunday anyway I see his point.

Or what Jammi Sais about him staying with friends. (Sorry posted before read it!)

He does often has friends over, but recently its been all about parties with school friends in his area. We cant pick him up late at night because Dh working and I have our DC, only 5 and 2. I totally understand that his mum needs a break as well, all her other kids go to their dads at weekends so she doesnt want to be stuck in with just him wasting valuable drinking time. (Ignore the bitchiness!!) WE have suggested to him that he comes over one night during the week but its an hours drive to his school in the morning so not really practical. My DC absolutely hero worship him. My DH drove all the way to collect him yesterday tea time and SS wasnt there. His mum was supposed to phone us and let us know he was sleeping at a mates. So my DC were sobbing, they had been so excited to see him. We have no way of contacting SS as left his mobile at home, and his mum doesnt care because its our weekend, our problem. Oh joy

whilst i understand that this is all hard work and upsetting, i guess the reality is that when sharing the care of children, you also share the hassle. teenage years need a renegotiation of relationships. - my ds1 is 10 and doesnt really want to see his dad at all at the moment, i can see this pattern continuing as his weekends are precious to him and there is basically more interesting stuff to do. Really hard for all involved though, in our house and in yours.

And through all this I have to pretend not to be hurt. I have always made a big effort on the nights its just me and him. Just simple stuff like renting DVDs and getting in junk food, playing top trumps and stuff. But I kind of enjoyed our nights! My DH only has 2 nights a week off so Im stuck in normally so liked the company. But at the end of the day SS wants to spend time with his dad, not me.

Busses arent an option as we live out in the sticks, so need 3 busses to get to his and vice versa as have to bus into city then out again ect. DH is actually now on phone to SS who just rung so I will let you know whats happening in a minute ha ha!

Oh well looks like Im driving over to his mates to pick him up in the morning. At least we know where he is. And my DC will be excited.