I don't know her and never get the chance too

[Girlmum14]

Not sure where to start with this really....
I have a 9 year old and my boyfriend has an 11 year old. We share a 1 year old.
I very rarely see his daughter. He very rarely sees his daughter and makes up excuses... Broken car, house undergoing renovations etc.
I feel like he is taking out his guilty conscience on me for him not seeing his daughter as much as he should be doing.
He treats my daughter very well.
We had an argument that ended up being about his daughter...
I have pictures of my family all around my house and he pointed out that there is none of his daughter anywhere. I don't have any pictures of his daughter as I very rarely see her.
I think I could just about count on one hand how many times I've met her altogether.
I have my own house and he has his... Although he does stay at mine most of the time as his house is being done up possibly to sell or rent out who knows.
He asked me if I see her as part of my family and I told him the truth and said no. I rarely see her and I don't know her.
I am always telling him she can come up anytime she wants and stay over whenever she wants as I have a spare room ready for her.
He got very upset and said if his daughter isn't part of my family then neither is he and ended up breaking up with me. Would he rather me lie?
He said that he treats my daughter as his and classes her as family.
He sees my daughter all the time. Takes her to school, plays games with her. We go for meals together.
In my eyes it just isn't the same...
I would love to get to know his daughter and spend time with her and to welcome her into my family. It just never happens.
Has anyone been through a similar situation?
I can't help how I feel.

Thank you again for all your comments.
I was seriously doubting myself before posting this.
This relationship has most definitely come to an end. You have all made me see what was right in front of me 🙏
I now need to do what is right for my daughters. I will stay calm as I always have and as soon as he has calmed down, we can make a suitable arrangement for our toddler to spend time with her dad.

I will not answer the question regarding why I have had a baby with this man.
Although sometimes even with precautions one them little guys just manages to power through.

But I will say that my toddler is a funny, bright, happy and intelligent little girl, as is my older daughter, and my family and I could not imagine our lives without her. I believe everything happens for a reason... And as I was bleeding throughout most of my pregnancy this little fighter is definitely meant to be here and has brightened up all of our lives♥️

@OpenLanes , genuine question, why do you think photos of the older child is a good idea? My ex abandoned our daughter for ow and subsequently had another child he hasn’t seen dd for 19 years! I’m glad she didn’t meet his other child as it would be another part of her being abandoned.

He's a shit dad and was trying to appease his shitness by blaming you. You don't live together- he has his own house to have photos of his daughter. She is basically a stranger to you- why would you view her as family. I can imagine he's the type to have (old) photos on Facebook proving his 'greatness' as a dad.......and it's obviously his ex partners fault he doesn't see his daughter, no doubt she's a manipulative ex who is stopping them having a relationship.........staying with someone because you don't want to be a single parent is worse than leaving someone who is incapable of stepping up.

Could you reach out to the mum about of his other daughter? Personally I wouldn't shut you down if I were her. I'd definitely meet you if the ex was out of the picture.

@SD1978 , I totally agree , with everything you have said.

I couldn't respect a man who was a wonderful step father but lousy father.