Birthday planning

[fairyfluf]

Every year DH runs past me what he's getting the DSC for their birthday. To clarify it's out of his "spending" budget not the household budget. We have a shared DC and I end up doing most the thinking for that. This latest DSC birthday DH has waffled on about it for months.. and yesterday I said I'd had enough hearing about it tbh and can he not just organise it himself. He's now sulking that I "Don't care" and frankly I don't. He ran it past me, I said sounds good. I don't need updates. Just a rant really.

Is it because he seems to care more about organising DSC birthdays than your joint child? That would grind on me.

Your DH sounds quite excited about the party, I presume he thinks his DC will really like it. Maybe point out that it's not that you don't care about your DSC but you wish he'd be as engaged with the DC you share

Yeah I think that's partly it tbh. Like he's not bothered about sorting little ones as he knows I'll do it.

There isn't a party

I'd be tempted to point out to him that your level of investment in DSC gifts mirrors his in DC's. You aren't obliged to give loads of attention to all the kids' bdays while he only has to do it for half the kids. If anything it should be the other way round as they are all his?!

Either there is a division of mental labour about bdays, or there isn't. He can't have it both ways.

Well if there's no party surely it doesn't take months and months of arranging? Is he buying them something really hard to get?

No he's just been going on a about it for ages. This one or that one. Where shall I order it from. Oh I've ordered it now it will arrive on Saturday. Oh its arrived ill get some wrapping paper.

Sounds like the present is a red herring.

Your narked that he focuses so much on DSc birthday and expects you do that too and not for his other child.

By any chance has this shown up in any other ways that birthday presents ?

If he starts getting knarky around your lack of interest I would just say your storing it up for your joint dc as you have to fill his void on their days and he's not left enough emotional bandwidth for his DSc,

Tell him it upsets you he “doesn’t care” much about the youngest’s birthday. He’s being ridiculous, and boring. As if one present warrants so much discussion.

I’d tell him il show some interest when he pays some some attention to his other kids birthday.

I would think he is going on about it in the hope that you will take over.

Yeah I think that's it