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Step-parenting

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Surprise! Met new partners DS unexpectedly

8 replies

whatafryup · 15/09/2023 18:56

So staying over at my new (well 4-6 months, depending how you count it) partner's at the weekend and his DS14 popped round using his key to pick something up - there's 50/50 custody and it sounds like there's regular dropping off / picking up of stuff by DP, his ex and the 2 children so not unusual that he'd come round.

But, I was sat in the kitchen, his Dad was just getting out the shower so not in the room and here's a 14 year old typically awkward teen facing a strange woman in his Dad's kitchen! He's told them he's dating and not much more and he's certainly not told his ex as things are seemingly very delicate there despite it being 3.5yrs since she moved out during /:after her affair. I obviously said Hello, nice to meet you, his Dad a few minutes later when his son had picked up what he wanted then introduced us by name.

Apparently the son hasn't said anything since but I feel like it was really awkward and dreading meeting him again as I don't think it was a terribly good first meeting! Has anyone survived an impromptu meeting of kids and its gone OK subsequently? We have 4 boys between us aged 11-14 and we have talked about introducing each other to each others children and then later the children could allmeet but for us this was a 2024 timescale not last week!

OP posts:
fairyfluf · 16/09/2023 07:03

Yeah that's not good..

Ohdearwhatnow4 · 16/09/2023 07:13

I wouldn't over think it, he's 14 and probably doesn't give a shit. Might of been a bit of a shock but could of been worse.

Chasingsquirrels · 16/09/2023 07:18

My then 12yo did similar about 3m in, in our case we were just loading our dogs into the car to go for a walk - 12yo loves dogs so went straight for his and wasn't interested in the bloke.
We were relieved it hadn't been 30mins earlier when we'd have been in bed!

Reugny · 16/09/2023 07:52

If your DP lets his kids and ex walk in and out of his home when they like, then why are either of you surprised this happened?

At least you met one of the kids 😂 not the ex. If he's the average 14 year old he's unlikely to say a lot about you to the other two.

fairyfluf · 16/09/2023 07:55

He should have introduced you before you started staying over at his in these circumstances I think.

GodDammitCecil · 16/09/2023 07:57

and his DS14 popped round using his key to pick something up - there's 50/50 custody and it sounds like there's regular dropping off / picking up of stuff by DP, his ex and the 2 children so not unusual that he'd come round.

So this was 100% bound to happen?

urck · 16/09/2023 08:24

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

whatafryup · 16/09/2023 10:09

Thanks for the reassurance all - yeah, also having teen boys, I think he probs won't give a stuff / mention it.

DP did wonder how he'd got in as he said usually leaves his keys in the lock on the inside precisely to stop his ex coming round unannounced when he's in but for some reason (probably involving the pub on Friday night and I think maybe me locking up) they weren't last Saturday.

Next time we're together we'll have a bigger chat about dealing with the children.

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