Advice on how to broker a better relationship

[AnaJane1]

I’m at my wits end.
My DH & I left both our previous marriages to be together, over 25 years ago, leaving behind a 20 yr old daughter & 17 year old son. We both worked overseas for 15 years, so relationships were strained.
We’ve both tried to be respectful of everyone’s feelings to the point of stepping back from wider family gatherings, so the children could enjoy the occasions.

fast forward to this year: we’ve taken DH’s children, grandchildren and their boyfriends on ski holiday and summer villa holiday but it’s all gone horribly wrong.

there has always been an undercurrent of undermining DH, using him for money (which we both earned) and being disrespectful to both of us, by mainly his son.

And now today, DDIL has had a massive fall out with DH claiming this is all in his head and she completely refutes that anyone is undermining him while at the same time, acknowledging that discussions take place on how to manage him.

My cry for help is this: how do I help to build bridges between DH and SDIL?

keep out of it!

Leave your husband to build his own bridges. There is no scenario in this where you aren't blamed if you get involved.

It’s not your job, I don’t mean that unkindly but there really isn’t anything you can do. What sort of thing were you even considering?

Were the 20 and 17 yr olds both his? Do you have children?
I think you take money out of the situation and try to build a relationship without it. They may be using him for money, but I have also seen situations where a person feels used for money but really that’s their own doing because that’s all they are really offering.