18 yo step son

[Loafbeginsat60]

I have a wonderful step son who although he doesn't live with us, visits every day. He comes after work as soon as he's had his dinner at home (or eats with us) and stays until we go to bed. Weekend he's here 10- midnight

He and his dad go out to the garage, exercise, work on projects etc or if they are in the house we might have a few drinks or watch a film.

I love him dearly he is such a good lad and was so accepting of me when I met his dad. But just for once I would like an evening alone. I would love for us to have an early night or snuggle up and watch a film.

My kids go out, visit pals, visit their dad but he hardly ever goes out. We have tried suggesting he meets up with pals which he maybe does once every few months. He's got a car, a good job and plenty money so he really could be out socialising a lot more.

But it seems he would rather spend all his time with us, which while that's rather sweet it's beginning to feel like the three bears sitting on the sofa night after night.

Dh and I occasionally have things to attend so we go out, and he always looks so sad being left behind that I feel terrible.

He was used to spending all his time with his dad before we met so I can see why he still wants to.

Just wish he would get a girlfriend and then hopefully visit her!!!

I know. Evil stepmother.... not really asking for solutions as there are none but I wonder if anyone else is in this boat?

Could you or your DH say in advance… we won’t be in Friday night as we have plans so you will have to stay at your mums?

I really feel for you. That would do my head in.

That’s what it’s like when you have kids. My son is always with us. Make the most of it. He will get a girlfriend and you’ll miss him being around.

I don't think there's anything wrong with telling him you need a couple of nights off a week. Make some plans - tell him you're not around. He should be out with mates at least some of the time at that age.

I don't think it's normal for an 18 to spend all their time with their parents. That's odd. Parents need time to themselves. They're still a couple rather than just someone's parents.

I still get plenty of time alone with my DH. My 16yo DSS watches a movie with us occasionally but he's usually out with his friends or playing computer in his room.

I have two kids so I am well used to it. But they go to their rooms or out with pals (or to bed!)
And at the weekend one has a job and one goes out with her pals. And they visit their dad.

Yes I think we need time to ourselves.

We have to go out or go away to get it. But I would love some time at home just the two of us!

Doesn’t he have any friends?

I would have been around pretty much all of the time at that age. I didn't have a tv or computer in my room so spent most of my time in the communal areas. I lived with them, though.

Where does he live? With mum or alone? It's a little odd that he comes over every day if he lives alone - I don't think it would be wrong to encourage him to put himself out there a bit, that seems a lot to visit parents and it will be getting in the way of him developing a social life.

I would tell him that you’re busy certain nights; my teen stepchild lives with us and even she isn’t actually with us in the lounge every single night