Positive stories of blended families

[1houseandhome]

Can you share any of your positive stories of blended families?

How you make it good as a new unit?

After much planning and deliberation my partner and I are moving in together with our children.

We've been together 5years and have two tweens each 2 boys and 2 girls.

I want to have a little ceremony or party to mark the occasion of us becoming a family

Have any of you done this?

Also can you tell me what you like about being in a blended family?

[CornishGem1975]

My biggest tip is don't try to parent each others children.

[orangeleavesinautumn]

This is a hard age to do this - do they each have their own private space? a bedroom each? Or just wait a few years until they have left home?

[Familycourtdrama]

Definitely don't try to parent each others children.

[funinthesun19]

Don’t expect each other to love each other’s children as your own.

Make sure you both make quality time for your own children. They will appreciate that. Always keep a special eye on your own.

You both need to work as a team. If one of you becomes lazy and expects the other to do everything (it’s mainly men who become the lazy ones so watch out), then that’s when resentment can creep in.

[PizzaPastaWine]

What type of ceremony do you want? If it was me I'd keep everything as low key and without expectation and as possible.

My top tip would be to not parent the SDC, take time with just your DC regularly and don a hard hat.

[Motherhood86]

Hi

We have recently blended, one teen boy each. To be totally honest it's very hard. Being really clear about expectations is a good plan. We thought we were but reality is very different. This has caused conflict. I thought before moving in the children would potentially cause most of the issues. Turns out they are golden, it's us and the way we 'treat' them, fairness, my kid/your kid etc.

Never saw any of that coming, there are lots of positives also. Being in a family makes general life a lot more fun!

Do kids get along?

[TwilightSkies]

How do the children feel about it? Will it be beneficial to them? I think that’s the key thing.

[Undecided16]

I am in the process of buying a house with my partner of 2 years and we have 2 children each from previous relationships who live with us individually full time.
We have not spoke about finances until the last few days and it has gone sour!
when we worked out the finances, she suggested 65% of our wages each month however this means that I pay almost £2925 per month and she pays £1300. I didn’t think that was fair although she does receive child benefit and tax credits which she will lose if we move in and I am happy to pay more however I think £1700 a month more is excessive if we are going in together. She receives DLA for both her kids which is £1300 and child maintenance totalling £530 on top of her wages. I receive £400 a month DLA for my son and have a rental income from a property which give me £800 a month on top of my wages.
Am I being unreasonable thinking that paying £1700 more a month on a house that we both own 50/50 although we both matched the deposit for the mortgage.
please be honest

[GrumpyPanda]

@Undecided16

I am in the process of buying a house with my partner of 2 years and we have 2 children each from previous relationships who live with us individually full time.
We have not spoke about finances until the last few days and it has gone sour!
when we worked out the finances, she suggested 65% of our wages each month however this means that I pay almost £2925 per month and she pays £1300. I didn’t think that was fair although she does receive child benefit and tax credits which she will lose if we move in and I am happy to pay more however I think £1700 a month more is excessive if we are going in together. She receives DLA for both her kids which is £1300 and child maintenance totalling £530 on top of her wages. I receive £400 a month DLA for my son and have a rental income from a property which give me £800 a month on top of my wages.
Am I being unreasonable thinking that paying £1700 more a month on a house that we both own 50/50 although we both matched the deposit for the mortgage.
please be honest

Really lame way to sneak in a reversal of a completely separate thread. Think you'll get a great gotcha in the responses?

Edited to add: just saw you've also posted this as a separate thread. Lamer and lamer. Bugger off back to your mum's basement.