Tell me how you introduced new partner to children?

[Treehouserabbit2023]

I'm not about to do this - it's early days for that although things are going really well but I am the sort of person who plans everything in advance so just wondered if anybody could share stories of how it worked for you? New partner has an adult child so would obviously never live with us, I have two children 10 and 3. How did you even start with telling your children you had a boyfriend?! I don't really get the bit between it being just dating so they don't need to know about it and it being so serious that you are moving in together. How does the bit in the middle work?!

No partner will ever move in until my children are 18.

i am in my first relationship since divorce 6 years ago and mine are pre tween and 13 and he has similar age.

I really like him and definitely a keeper but absolutely no intention of introducing him until at least a year. I want to go in a holiday with first and I want to have some disagreements etc first.

in any event I’m enjoying compartmentalising

Yeah we've done a short holiday and been seeing each other for eight months which is why I'm starting to muse about it.

I know lots on MN don't agree with moving in partners. My own experience doesn't bear that out. I didn't get on amazingly with my step dad but through him and my mum marrying, I gained a half sister who is my best friend in adulthood. I have lots of friends whose step parents were completely beloved, and much mourned when they passed.

Anyway, I'm certainly nowhere near that being a consideration for me at any rate. Just wanted people's experience of how to navigate the initial introductions and spending time together.

I don't have kids but my DH has 3. When we knew things were serious and we were thinking about moving in together he told his kids about me. At the time his kids were 3, 13 and 14. He spoke to the 2 oldest separately and told them he'd been seeing someone and it was getting serious. He said they could meet me whenever they felt ready but there was no rush. Both asked loads of questions about me. One was keen to meet me right away so I was invited over to DHs for pizza and a movie one night. His other son needed a bit more time to come to terms with his dad having a new partner but after a few weeks said he wanted to meet me and we had a similar meeting. His DD was obviously too young to have such a conversation but after I'd met the boys I met her at his house one day. After I'd met them all I gradually starting coming round more often and they also came to mine a couple of times for dinner. We built it up to me spending a night or 2 there before we eventually all moved in together in a new house.

How long has each of you been separated / divorced?

My partner has 2 children. I actually met them before we were dating because we have mutual friends. I think this made things easier as they already liked me.

I already knew them so after 5/6 months or so of dating I occasionally met them at the park or went round for dinner when they were there and my relationship with them grew naturally. I think that if we had waited a year or 2 to meet would have been more difficult as I was then an established partner with expectations and a proper routine with my partner which I think would have harder on the girls.

We didn't move in together for nearly 5 years but that was due to me being reluctant as my ex changed into a controlling nightmare when I moved in. DSC thought it was weird I took so long!

I met my partners children at the park and he met my child at the same time. We did a really casual bump into each other and the kids chatted and played. We told them we knew each other and we were good friends. We were all having a nice time so decided to go for macdonalds for tea. Super casual and it just went on from there. ☺️

What an odd thing to lie about. Surely you'd pick something more exciting and inflammatory.

I imagine the op made out the relationship was 8 months when actually closer to 8 weeks and she knew that if she told the truth about the duration, most of us, me included, would be WOAH slow down OP!

Me and now DH waited 4 months just to introduce me to his DSC. Their psychotic mum knew about the relationship and was telling the children things like ‘daddy has a new girlfriend who he loves and doesn’t love you’ and they were starting to ask questions so we had to nip it in the bud early. My DH at the time only had DSC every Saturday so I used to stay with him on a Friday night and then be there for an hour whilst DSC were there and then build it up over time to eventually them knowing I was DH girlfriend and now wife.

exact same thread recently

and turned out “new” was 3 weeks 😂

This this and this

never ever going to have my teen daughter share her home with a man who Isn’t her father or brother.

8 weeks op and you said 8 months - cripes

just introduce gradually as a friend. no drama. no expectations. see how it goes. the kids will like to have you to themselves, won’t appreciate someone who takes up too much of their mum’s time so make sure there is no competition