How do I not this effect me?

[Sleep10]

Mum & bonus mum to DSDs.
Always treat them like my own, always will.
Their mum doesn't like me having a relationship /being in their life even though they don't live with her.
DSDs don't like to upset her as she will cut them off for weeks at a time for varies reasons which breaks theirs hearts so we avoid places etc we could bump into her not a problem, will do anything to keep them happy and stress free.
Just having to make sure we don't upset the apple cart I'm finding I'm starting to feel emotional as it hurts to feel I have to be hid away even though it's us who does everything (not that I will ever let this show to anyone).
Not a slating post and definitely will never ever take her place, shes their mum. Just advice on how to contain feeling like this if possible please - thank you x

Sorry - typo I missed the 'Let' out 😬 x

I used to get the he’s not my dad shouted at anyone who dare make the mistake of referencing me this way to a 6 and 11 year old.

i learnt to get it in first and say, oh I’m not dad.

A decade later, im dad, because they both learnt what an a hole dad could be, his pettiness and manipulations.

You can be strong, accept whatever limitations there are to be there for the young one, it’s not their fault after all, and give them the opportunity to love you.

it’s been the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done in my life. Maybe because it was hard.

we avoid places etc we could bump into her not a problem, will do anything to keep them happy and stress free. stop doing that your life shouldn't be dictated by her

Thank you.
I absolutely adore them, and we have a fantastic relationship. I get told I'm loved every day by them obviously I tell them I love them too and how proud etc I am just like I do mine.
Glad you all have the happy ending x

Thank you.
It's only because the mum will start on the girls and they get so distraught.
So it's become the norm to avoid walking the direction or her house, going to certain shops etc but not an ideal situation I do agree.

Absolutely stop doing that. She has no ownership rights to a patch. As long as you aren't standing outside her house then she shouldn't be having any issues.

You are right of course you are, it's only because of the girls I go along with it.
Absolutely cause no drama, she would only notice is if she physical saw with her eyes but unfortunately that's all it takes.

Why do they not live with her? How old are they?

Because they don't want to live with her.
Ages between 8 - 17 years now.
8 year old isn't too bothered but older girls are more aware of upsetting their mum.