I love my sdd with asd but I find it tough. How to help dp?.

[malificent7]

I expect to get slated on here but i don't know how I feel.
I have been with fiance 7 years. I love him and I love his 14 year old dd. He has always molly coddled her a bit...usual nrp stuff. His ex left him not vice versa.
Now she is being assessed for asd and she clearly shows the traits. She is high functioning, very intelligent but really struggles with friendships. Whereas my dd is the same age always out with friends so i get child free tim, sdd dosn't have that. She has a great friendship with her dad but it's not enough. This is selfish but I worry that dp and I will always have to be really hands on and never get time to ourselves because of this.

Also dp finds it tough and I want to support him...his anxiety about his dds asd has resulted in him micromanaging her which dosn't do her any favours. Is it possible for non severelyasd teens to do a bit for themselves.

I know he is heartbroken about her lack of friends as am I tbh. It's hard to see.

If he’s the NRP then you have the time she’s with her mum to be together? What’s the contact schedule?

If she’s high-functioning and intelligent she’ll probably be off to uni in four years anyway.

Unfortunately that's the reality of having a child with special needs.