SC telling my DC that Father Christmas isn't real

[olivers]

What do you do about this?

My DC are young (<6). SC is 9. He's telling them in secret (whenever we aren't listening) that FC isn't real and now my DC are overly suspicious and making comments about him not being real.

I'm huge for Christmas and this is just younger than I could've imagined to start losing that sector of the magic so soon because of SC.

I'm not sure at all what the best way to go about this is? Any help?

This. A rather sour nun told us FC wasn’t real at school when I was six, and I galloped straight home to tell my four year old sister. I remember similarly when a year or two later my friend Deirdre Murphy found out how babies were made (via her older sister’s puberty book), she came straight to tell me.

And I didn’t believe her…

If my older DD told my younger DD at that age, I would expect her to listen after I had told her once to stop doing it. After that point, I would be angry. They need telling to stop it but after that point, if they carry on, I would be really annoyed.

He isn't real. It sounds like it's more for you than it is for the kids, so I would do nothing. If they're school age they would have found out soon anyway

To be deliberately mean if they did that is not on but I presumes kids know from kids at school

I just said to my child 'how do you want to beleive?' And just kept on gong with it even though 'knew', And let others beleive what they want

I'd be worried if a great lummox of an 11-year-old boy still really believed in Santa Claus.

It is not uncommon or malicious for older siblings to share this kind of information with younger siblings. They are not being unkind ; it is just a typical information share among siblings.

Like a PP, I also figured it out for myself when I was around 5. I’d be more concerned about 11 year olds still believing tbh.

You tend to have more influence over your own children though. I mean the dad could do that and tell them to keep quiet, but as with a lot of these half sibling situations the dad probably doesn’t give a fuck and it’s his partner/ the mum of his younger DC who is upset and unable to control what is happening. That’s just my take on it. So I do actually think the half/ step sibling thing is relevant.

11 is normal here for being told the truth. Before they go to secondary school. They probably start to question it around 9 but it gets dragged out lol.
I would read the riot act to your dss. He knows he’s doing wrong if he’s doing it secretly. My boys had a school friend who told the class every year from they were small (mum never did the Santa thing). His mum was mortified and very cross at him. By 9 a child knows not to do this though and spoil it for younger ones.

I told my (I think) 8 yr old the truth and she was quite upset (she was unworldly and I thought she would be teased for being the last believer in her class). She joined in helping to set up stuff for her younger siblings. She still remembers the shock of discovering her parents would lie to her

Well he isn’t real. There’s always threads on here about parents wringing their hands and wailing that their 14 year old is losing the ‘magic’ as they don’t believe in Santa. My experience is that most NT children don’t really believe past toddler/preschool age, because their common sense tells them that a man is not magically flying round the world with gifts. When I was a kid the magic was in getting toys you wanted and plenty of sweet food and two weeks off school.

And despite mumsnetters insisting their almost secondary school children definitely had to be told because they ‘still believed,’ it’s incredibly unlikely. At age 11/12 I would think most NT children of normal development would have at least seen films or read books that clearly show that Santa isn’t real. Plus they should by the age have a bit of common sense.

You can still have a magical Christmas after your kids know that FC is not real. It's the same as pretending they are Spiderman or a Princess - just play along the way you always have.
11 is very old for believing. Are you ND? My own kids worked it out around age 6 but still have fantastic Christmases and are happy to play along.

Oh this is just life- if it wasn't the SC it would be a kid at school.

I'm always amazed by the number of parents on MN who go to excessive lengths to keep their child believing well past the point at which they should have worked it out- don't be one of them. It's lovely when they're tiny and believe but honestly it's just as lovely when they don't- you can still do all the same things, you just do it with a bit of a wink. And this unsure phase is lovely as well- can still remember little DD swearing she was going to stay awake to find out whether her theories were correct 😍

People who don't celebrate Christmas/ have never had Santa / Father Christmas in their home why bother even coming into onto the thread.

I agree with others. Is he doing this to upset your kids? If he is what else does he do/ say to them?

Tell your kids their SB doesn't believe as only nice children have a visit from Santa. Joke or maybe not.

For goodness sake - younger child learns the truth about Father Christmas, so the child telling them must be nasty / evil / damaged etc.
Get a grip! It’s almost a rite of passage. Kid gets told a lie by an adult, kid finds out the truth, the world keeps on turning.

How many 14 YO do you know they believe in him? I think you've just made that up.

That’s absolutely disgusting!

It was humorous hyperbole to make a point. But in fact op herself insists she was told at age 11 and half of her class still thought Santa existed. Do you think this is likely? Or normal? Do you think the average year 7 class are taking a break from algebra and Of Mice and Men to excitedly discuss when the magic man is flying down the chimney at all their houses in the same night with magic free gifts?

But of course you’re right @xoomer! Must tell the stepchild he’s not nice and that’s why the imaginary man doesn’t want to bring him gifts. That’ll keep the magic all right.

I remember working it out age 7 and asking my mum. She admitted it wasn't real but not to tell my sister age 5.

Obviously i promptly told her 🤦‍♀️
Not malicious, loved her to bits - but felt I had to share the info

We still played along with Santa for years!

Mine found out around age 9/10

They are now 14 & 17 and still leave the carrot & water out for the reindeer and beer & mince pie out for Santa!
(& we still bite the carrot & mince pie, drink the beer and leave 'reindeer hairs' in the water bowl) 🤣

It can be a magical time whatever they believe

@Kanaloa well no but I have an 11 and 13 year old myself but the did believe until about 8/9.

Plus the OPs kids are very young still.

That was a joke.

So op probably has quite unusual ideas then, if she genuinely thinks half of her class at age 11 believed in Santa. Realistically most children who are school aged won’t really believe.

I think most kids go along with the pretence. But not sure that previous generations went all out to maintain the facade in the same way as now.
Older kids will generally let on to their siblings, step or otherwise.

We did father Christmas sort of 'tongue in cheek' with our children. Still do now really and they are old enough to be parents themselves