Hand washing

[bobclips]

Something I've brought up several times but seems to go in one ear and out the other and DP doesn't take me seriously...

My SS (teenager) will go for 30-min long dumps, NEVER wash his hands and then go and look through our food cupboards (as usual). I think this is absolutely vile and it is honestly stressing me out so much that there is such a lack of hygiene. DP seems to shrug it off a little as it's 'normal teenage boy' antics and he doesn't find it a big deal, but it's now made me never want to eat anything in my own house.

AIBU?

Put a sign up in the bathroom - maybe inside the bathroom door so he can't open the fort to leave without - to remind him.

Frankly, if that's your DH's attitude, I'd wonder how good he is about his own personal hygiene...

Gross. I’d be going out of my mind too.

It's grim is true, but how do you know?

Grim. I literally ask my step children if they've washed their hands. My children automatically wash their hands before and after tea, when we come in from school or after being out plus after toilet. My step children are feral and never automatically wash their hands. I make them go back in. Don't leave it to their dad, especially if he's not bothered. Make him return to the bathroom and wash them with soap. Treat him like a young child if he's behaving like one.

Oh my goodness me I've had this one too. They grew out of it but only after years of me buying them fancy soap, asking them before dinner to go wash their hands, even a Global pandemic when everyone else was freaking out about handwashing. In they end they went to secondary school and the potential shame in front of their mates sorted it.

I couldn't live like that. You have my sympathy

You can tell. If someone flushes the loo and is then instantly out the bathroom door that's nor long enough to wash their hands is it

It always shocks me how many people in public bathrooms don’t bother washing their hands. It’s gross. Maybe hand sanitizer placed in the bathrooms, dining room, front door etc would be simpler for him? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with just telling him to wash his hands either.

That is disgusting. You have my sympathies op. I'm really shocked his dad thinks this is normal though.

Is there a way of securing the kitchen cupboards so he can't go through them if you can't make him wash his hands?

My sc used to do the same & also sit & pick their noses then put their hands over cutlery, crockery food etc. It’s revolting. Eventually I told them that if they cannot maintain basic personal hygiene then they wouldn’t be able to eat here, seemed to work. Thankfully I don’t have to put up with that anymore

Same here. It’s so gross. So unnecessary. My very clean DH claimed he didn’t notice but like the OP, I was trying to avoid illness. I just asked (nicely) every time if they had washed their hands and sent them back if they ‘forgot’.

There’s no way I’d let someone in the kitchen if they had hadn’t washed their hands after using the bathroom.

Do you and this boyfriend live together? Is it possible not to have either of them over at yours?

It is disgusting and I am genuinely not a person who cleans but this is just basics. I thought everyone know a this sort of thing growing up. Your boyfriend is the huge problem not teaching him even the minimum.

YANBU- it's disgusting and no wonder he has such poor hygenine habits if your DP has never bothered enforcing otherwise (I'm guessing he might do similar otherwise surely he would share your opinion??)

I lived with someone in a small flat and we got ready for work at the same time. Every morning I heard the door to the bathroom shut. A little while later there was a flush immediately followed by the door opening. They never returned to the bathroom after that either, so not only were they not washing their hands, they also weren't brushing their teeth.