Wedding plans

[Navigatingthroughlife]

Hi All,

Myself and partner are starting to plan our wedding. We’re looking at getting married abroad and he has two kids from previously relationship. By the time of the wedding kids will be 17&14 (couple of months off 18&15). We’re looking at options and seen a beautiful hotel we want to get married in. Partner wants us and kids to share a big family room but as it’s our wedding/honey wrapped into one I thought it would be best to have our own room. Obviously kids will be at the wedding and holidaying with us but they’ll be a lot of family flying out that would happily have the kids in their room.

what would you guys do in this situation? Just for context I adore the kids and we’ve had holidays where we’ve all stayed in a villa etc but it’s only because it’ll be our wedding that this has crossed my mind.

Thank you!

No child is going to want to share a room with their parents on their honeymoon. That's gross.

Sorry guys messages are coming in really fast so hard to reply to everyone! I agree I was a SC and I would not have wanted to share a hotel room with my dad and step mum. As I mentioned I think he thought it would be separate bedrooms so almost like an apartment

Is he worried they might be a handful / get drunk / be emotional and it’s unfair to get people to pay to come to your wedding then be saddled with looking after two teenagers? Or that they won’t be mature enough to be left alone and he’ll spend the night worrying about them?

It is a bit hard to mentally parent your own kids three years older than they currently are, to be fair. Probably not worth worrying about so far in advance if your relationship is otherwise good.

I don't think a child who has to see their parent remarry (and as much as they may love you all sorts of emotions may come with that) Then wants to join them on the honeymoon IN THE SAME ROOM.

He can overcompensate 100% but believe me he’s not strange I can definitely sniff out a strange egg and he’s not that 😂

You're planning a wedding for 4 years time? Why? That's very odd. Just talk to him about it in 3 years, I'm sure the 17 year old will laugh in his face at the idea by then

I see. Still no. You'll be wanting sex. It will be very uncomfortable for all. Just wait for the eldest to be 18 and then they can share a room?

If the wedding isn’t for almost four years surely you don’t need to book now! Lay the foundations for them getting a family apartment with cousins or grandparents and it’ll resolve naturally by then

Very organised people 😂 to be honest saving up money etc as we all know how expensive weddings cost. It’s 3 years off and I know loads of people that have planned their weddings 3 years in advance? Don’t see why that’s odd?

Oh it’s definitely a fair bit off but this conversation came up so wanted to know others views

Plan it for 4 years time. Problem solved. 18 year old can be respo adult then

Yes that could be another option. Thanks guys for all your responses I think it’s safe to say everyone is agreement with me and I’m not being unreasonable 😂

Regardless, do you not find it concerning that he's overcompensating to the extent that even on your wedding day, after them having been heavily involved in the ceremony - and given that they presumably don't usually share a room with you - he doesn't think they can spend one night with their grandparents without feeling left out? Is that how sensitive he thinks they are?

Involving them in picking a venue is also weird, I would feel very claustrophobic in your position.

@aSofaNearYou oh god yes! Over the years there’s been a few conversations I’ve had whereby he’s overcompensated and to be honest it actually doesn’t do the kids any favours and he has got much better at listening to my views and taking them on board. The kids most DEFINITELY do NOT share a room with us at home 😂

My DC are 14 and 17 and there is no way I'd have them in the same room as us. We've been booking two rooms or a villa/ 2/3 bed apartment for the last few years.

Also I've found that many hotels have a maximum age limit for family rooms and often the extra beds are really only designed for small children (as we discovered when we booked a family room in Thailland with our very tall DS when he was 12. The hotel ended up squeezing a proper sized bed into the room for us but it wasn't ideal.

What is it with these men, making themselves utter wet blankets to their kids, it doesn't help
them, it produces entitled spoiled brats.

Does he mean a family room, or an actual suite? The latter would have separate rooms, along with a shared sitting area.

It would have been a suite with separate bedrooms and a shared front room area 😊

op can u ask someeone in the family u are close to or get on with to talk to the kids and explain that when couples get wed it is nice at night to give them their own space and privacy for a while? like they are old enough to understand, and for all u know they maybe wouldn't want to be with you all the time on an important occasion. ask them, explain to them, and get someeone they love to kind of watch them that night and get them back......to their own rooms!

@crazeekat thank you that’s very helpful MIL to be would definitely do this 😊

"op can u ask someeone in the family u are close to or get on with to talk to the kids and explain that when couples get wed it is nice at night to give them their own space and privacy for a while?"

Or maybe just wait until 2027 and then they'll simply refuse to be in the same suite as their dad and new stepmum while they consummate the marriage 🤷🏽‍♀️. I can't get over anyone planning a wedding this far in advance, never mind getting MIL to have a sex talk with her grandkids.

@HomeB with all due respect when I plan my wedding is not anything to do with this post and who even mentioned anything about a sex talk?!

op can u ask someeone in the family u are close to or get on with to talk to the kids and explain that when couples get wed it is nice at night to give them their own space and privacy for a while?

You mean someone like their dad??

Though I don't really know why a 17yo especially would need that spelling out.

I've never understood why people would want to share their honeymoon with other people let alone share the same room.