Does anyone on here live with their own child and partners full time?

[Motherhood86]

Just that really, wanted to hear how other people juggle that situation. Seems most ppl on here are have their partners children on weekends holidays etc.
We live with both our Sons full time.
Can't find anyone in similar situation to get advice from or just ideas on how they handle stuff. We are 4 months in, it's going ok but lots of negotiations and not feeling blended at all!

It's a while ago now but one of my stepsons lived with us full time. We got married he was 13 then he moved in just after we had our son. The next year the other stepson wanted to move in too but I was then pregnant again and my husband travelled a lot so he said no (also his ex didn't want him to), though he did move in when the older boy moved out at 18.
Because of their ages I wasn't ever a 'mum' to them. They were pretty self sufficient and I was just supportive and welcoming. But we were never very close. I mean they were teens - though they were always kind and never rude to me, there were a few shouty moments with their Dad!

Yes, well we did - they’re all at Uni now. My 2 kids plus his 2 all together full time for the past 8 years.
They were early/ mid teens when we married and moved in. It’s hard and I think I regret it tbh. Should’ve waited til he had “ done the work” with his kids tbh. I’ve No advice really I’m sorry - just recognition I know it’s hard .

Thanks for replies, it is very hard. It has its positives definitely but it's very draining too. Glad to hear you made it through the other end!

@AnnaMarieSophie do you mind me asking why you regret it?

I have my SKs full time and OH and I have a child together so it's probably a bit different to each having your own children and living together but I can 100% sympathise with how difficult it can be having SKs full time. I do a lot more parenting of my SKs and have given up a lot more for them than I feel I should (not their fault, I blame OH and their mum for this) but I do it because they need it and they're kids. It does lead to a lot of anger and resentment though because I feel that I have lost so much of my freedom as a result of us all living together. I have long holidays from work, I planned my life in order to have that because I love travelling and used to travel any chance I could get. Now I need to stay home during my holidays to look after my SKs because no one else can, I would be happy to take them away and OH would happily pay for this but their mum would never allow it.

My DHs daughter ended up moving in with us a couple of years ago as her mum became too unwell to look after her. It is not easy for me and I do struggle with it. My daughter is the same age (15) and they just avoid each other.

Now I need to stay home during my holidays to look after my SKs because no one else can, I would be happy to take them away and OH would happily pay for this but their mum would never allow it
Not a chance. If you are doing someone a favour then they have to accept the terms you'll be doing it under or find help elsewhere. Anything else is a barefaced cheek!

You have to have your own things like a hobby and lots of patience. I count to 10 mentally a lot!

@Yousee
Please take them away (holiday)
It's making memories and they'll love you forever for it.
One of my biggest regrets was not letting my ex take my dd aboard the one time they offered (I didn't mind uk ) but they never offered again.
But OP one ss lived with other for a year at 17 and the other for 3.5 years when his relationship broke down.
They are both out in the world having great lives and I know that was partly down to me supporting them when they needed it - it was hard at times but I miss them now , though we are all still close and see them often

Thanks, I am getting into the gym. Definitely helps to not over think stuff and not get so wrapped up in it all

Hi thanks for your reply, that must have been very hard as I guess you were not expecting it. Do you and your partner agree on how you will treat both girls or do you just parent them both separately?

I do.
Mine was 10 and his was 5 when ss took DSS away from his mother and at that point DH was out of the country, they asked me if I'd have him as I had already agreed to have him fri-mon whilst DH worked away.
They are 26 and 21 now ( we decided not to have any children together) both still at home and they are both my children.
I wouldn't change a thing even though at times it's been hard, it's been so rewarding too.