Lazy SS!

[Littletinytarzanswingingfromanosehair]

We have my SS (16) for 2weeks while his mum is abroad for 2weeks...

Not normally an issue and we have him EOW but I'm getting pissed off already 4days in. He is a lazy little slob. He expects us to taxi him every where so we have to base our days off around him. He expects me to cook him dinner, he doesn't wash up after him self. He hasn't showered I'm 4days, not brushed his teeth (I got him a new toothbrush and it's obvious it's not been used).

I asked him how much money he needs for school lunches and his response..."you'll have to make me a packed lunch, I don't like the school food" not please etc.

I have been with DP for 12 years, I love him dearly but he is such a laid back dad and just shrus it all off.

I feel like booking a last min holiday and going away myself.

Anyone else's kids like this?

Don't do it. Respond with "ah you'll have to ask your dad about that hahaha"

Leave him to his father. Everything. Why should you play taxi for him? Why are you rearranging your schedule?
Talk to your husband. Ss is being rude and entitled. I'm not putting up with it. I don't want us to fall out over this. As you are his father, you can deal with him.
And stick to it. Be pleasant but any request you answer "No, ask your dad". On repeat.

Yes , refer everything to his father.

Why isn’t his Dad doing this? It’s pretty normal for mist evenings meals at that age to be cooked by the adults in the house.

I have been with DP for 12 years, I love him dearly but he is such a laid back dad and just shrus it all off.

He can shrug off cooking dinner, cleaning up, giving lifts and making packed lunches then.

Why are you doing any of that? No wonder your DP is laid back. If I had a servant to do the hard bits of my life I would be too.

'Ask your dad' every.single.time.

Yabu to down to teen demands. Send him links to public transport..
And BBC cooking website...

You don’t HAVE to ferry him around. You could say no. You could just give him food money and not make packed lunch. Sorry for the cliche but you have a DH problem. Why isn’t he standing up to SS?

Sorry to say and please don’t take this personally but this is a typical 16 year old.

lazy, stinky, grumpy, ungrateful and I could go on

You definitely can’t have kids of your own (teens) as otherwise you wouldn’t even post

oh and add starving to the list

be patient they do come out of the other side

Is he revising for his gsce's? Not excusing rudeness, but mine did very little round the house when they were this age. They did manage their packed lunches though

Most 16 year olds won't get out the bloody shower costs a fortune. Your DH NEEDS to ensure he is showering everyday same goes for brushing his teeth. Disgusting and no excuse unless of course there is SEN/depression going on but even then it's a part of life he has to do.

Your DH can bully the foods for his packed lunch and your SS who is 2 years away from being an adult and old enough to join the army needs to make his own packed lunch, wash his plate, do his laundry or atleast put it in the correct place, make his bed, make/get his own snacks and drinks.

And if he wants lifts everywhere that's the least he can do. He should be running around with the hoover atleast once a week or offering to help with the food shop!

In regards to the lifts though tell him the night before your plans for the next day and if he needs a lift you/DH are available at X Y and Z

I do have kids of my own, DD 14, offers to help out, walks to her mates if safe to do so etc so I guess maybe it's my expectations.

I don't expect SS to necessarily cook etc but he would literally not even make his own lunch if we were out.

Caring for his son's needs is the responsibility of your partner, not you!

Taxi-ing him around - to where and when?

Cooking dinner - well I wouldn't expect him to cook for himself, that's just inefficient. Whoever was cooking that night, be it yourself or DP, just ups the quantities to feed three, surely?

Packed lunches - I was making my own at that age. Either he does it, or his dad.

Op

its a phase and well if your teenager is skipping some of it then that is great for you but not many do!!!

Pick your battles wisely

see him as a giant toddler

It may be normal teen behaviour but surely you don't just sit back and allow it though?

DP will help make his lunches etc but it's the laid backness re;hygiene.

SS is sadly a product of his parents. Yanbu to think he's lazy but it's a battle that his parents should be having with him for his good.
Of course he can do basic stuff like a packed lunch. Delegate to your h if ss is so precious that he's not allowed to. Does your h plan to move to whatever uni city dss goes to so that he can continue babying him?

I have a 16yo and he'd rather not cook too but he does or suffers the hunger pangs. I am surprised that yours doesn't do stuff like brush his teeth. Mine spends ages doing his hair and ironing his clothes etc and his friends are the same.

My 16yo walks/skates/bikes. (He prefers that to taking a bus)
If he's travelling far away I might pay for a taxi but I am not his taxi at all. I would not plan my day around his social plans and he wouldn't ask me.

Tell DP he needs to step up as a parent. His child not showering or brushing his teeth is not a sign that your DP is "laid back" it's a sign that he's a shit parent.

Your DSS needs to be taught basic hygiene by his parents.

You have a DP problem here and he's the one who needs to resolve it.

It's not all teens and it really shouldn't be what is considered the "typical" 16 year old. There are lots of them who are hygienic and polite, it really isn't all that uncommon.

OP, you shouldn't have to cater to your SS's every need and defo refer this back to your DP and get him to sort it out. A 16 year old should know to shower and brush his teeth, when my son was that age, he was very capable of following basic hygiene procedures.

Toddlers can't make their own lunch or use a bus - a sixteen year old can.
You have to supervise toddlers having a bath / cleaning teeth - sixteen year olds can do it themselves.

Let your DP make lunch.

If his child smells and teeth rots that's on him.

And tbh my toddler will try to make lunch which is more n than this 16 year old is doing. Is he depressed?

Or maybe DP can teach him how to cook in order to impress any future girl/boyfriend. Get him a Jamie Oliver book or something