Child scared - what does this mean

[LoftyBB]

My partners child (7 yo girl) is having tearful episodes when at each parents place each week. Saying they are scared of lots of different things including characters in films (nothing age inappropriate seen). This then ends in them saying they miss the other parent.

This is often at night after spending happy time together in the day so nothing known to cause it. They have lived apart for 2 years, separated longer.

We are discussing me meeting her soon but this makes me concerned. She doesn’t know anything about me. Is this a sign it would be a bad idea or just something that kids go through?

My DSS always used to do this.

I wouldn't be too concerned tbh - getting scared and overemotional at night is just a standard phase for kids and when parents are separated, this just naturally lends itself to claims of missing the other parent. My DD, who lives with both her parents, does the same thing, except obviously the other parent is just downstairs so can go up and say goodnight.

Sounds like she's feeling unsettled in general if it's happening at both houses. It's probably a common age for imaginations to start running wild too, with ghosts and other silly things.

They can only reassure her and listen to what she says, if there are no other concerns.

I would delay meeting her. How long have you been with partner? Are you sure it's definitely happening and not excuse to delay an introduction.

@BillyNoM8s we have been together nearly a year so not rushing into it.

I believe it is happening as it was at one house first and now it is at both

Co-parenting is amicable. They were sharing the same house but not together for a long time due to finances. I think this must have been confusing for her. It makes me worried about being accepted

You're worried about being accepted, she's probably worried about you. It's ok to be worried.

Dad needs to have time alone with her so she can voice her worries openly.

Even children of that age with two parents and one home often go through this. They are becoming more independent and at the same time more fearful, especially when tired. It's a normal feature of growing up.
You sound like a caring, thoughtful person. She's a lucky little girl to have considerate adults in her life.