not coping being a step mum

[242AROUTLE01]

Hi,

I live with my partner and his 2 kids. The kids see their mum every other weekend. The girls have disclosed that they are scared to go to their mums and they have been told to not listen to their dad, me, their teachers or their mums partner.

This is not the first instance of using the kids as pawns.

I'm scared for the girls to go to their mums, don't know what to do. Constantly stressed and thinking about his ex. Messing our relationship up too

What's happened that's made them scared to go?

How old are the children?

Do they ever mix fact and fiction?

There’s a lot of info missing here. How old are they? Does your partner share your concerns? What are they scared of? Is the contact split an official or private agreement?

It is hard being a stepmum. I think while it's nice care so much about them you need to take a big breath and channel your inner Elsa and try to just let these things go. It will eat you up if you give mum too much head space. Not your problem. Mum is moaning about you, not your problem. She's nothing to you, take the power out.

DH should be stepping up and saying that's nice but in this house we do it this way and you will be respectful to my partner.