Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

Dating with a child

24 replies

amyvezxy · 19/04/2023 23:23

My boyfriend and I have been together a little over a year and things are pretty serious. He never skips a chance to tell me I can not raise a man my son is 6 btw. For Valentine's Day I wanted to buy him something sweet so I ending up buying a teddy bear and candy no harm in that right? Today he says you have a lot of boys in your family but no men and that's making him soft so we should get rid of it. My son loves that bear I expressed to him that I didn't see a issue with him having the bear. He will try to bring things up by saying it's not that big of a deal, but if I'm not on board with his thinking he gets upset. It turned into a argument bc any "logical" person would have take the bears back a week after giving the child the toy. We were obviously raised two different ways and instead of listening and understanding where im coming from it doesn't make sense and I'm setting my son up for failure he's already "soft". What upsets me is the fact that he mocks things I say and will giggle bc "what you said doesn't make sense" or "you're reaching". I fell as though he talks to me like a child speaking slowly , raising his voice and cursing at me. And when I express how uncomfortable that makes me he never adjust it's either deal with it or hang up. I understand our situation is different but I wanna be heard not let me listen today and drill you again about the same things in a week to see if you changed your mind.

OP posts:
holaschicas · 19/04/2023 23:35

LTB, for your son’s sake.

aSofaNearYou · 19/04/2023 23:36

Well this is obvious, leave the sexist prick.

excelledyourself · 19/04/2023 23:37

He clearly has issues, OP.

Not a decent role model for your son.

Get rid.

Aquamarine1029 · 19/04/2023 23:38

What is with all of these posts tonight?

NewNameNigel · 20/04/2023 12:09

He sounds horrible. I don't see why anyone would date him, with or without a child.

Newnamenewname109870 · 20/04/2023 12:12

Is he seriously attractive or something? This will only get worse. You are the one raising that boy. Look after him and put him first.

KneeQuestion · 20/04/2023 12:13

Run.

he has a problem with your son and is a bully.

put your son first please.

Hotvimto3 · 20/04/2023 12:15

Hes jealous of your love for him and the nice life you are giving him. It will get worse.

Hubblebubble · 20/04/2023 12:17

What an awful example of toxic masculinity. Please continue to raise your son to be good and kind. Please continue to allow your child to be a child, enjoying the things children like (soft toys). This man is not a positive male role model. You can find that in a good sports coach or his male teachers.

Hubblebubble · 20/04/2023 12:18

Even if you don't feel you deserve better (you do), atleast protect your child.

samestyle · 20/04/2023 12:18

Run, women and children are not equal humans to a man in his brain, trying to talk sense into him is likely to cause conflict, he's not worth the drama.

He's possibly trying to move himself in by basically saying you need a man to control you. Best show him you don't?

Reugny · 20/04/2023 12:20

WTF?

Get your child away from this "man" now!

nine9nein · 20/04/2023 12:21

He's an abuser in the making.

Run and keep yourself and child safe x

arethereanyleftatall · 20/04/2023 12:35

Oh for goodness sake. Every single day on mumsnet. Why op, why are you with a man who treats you horribly? Why?

kitsuneghost · 20/04/2023 12:38

This is a toxic environment
I would not stay with this man
What measures is he going to take to toughen your son up. The possibilities are worrying.

Ponderingwindow · 20/04/2023 12:40

Ltb

don’t date again until you get yourself into therapy to explore why you think dating a man who treats you or your child like this is acceptable.

Wheretostarteh · 20/04/2023 12:45

What’s wrong with having a soft, caring and emotionally appreciative boy? What an odd thing to say of him.

You need to think long and hard about the affects this ‘man’ is going to have in your child’s life. The fact he wants to rough him up screams worry to me.

SquidwardBound · 20/04/2023 12:46

I’m with everyone else. This guy is just a misogynistic arsehole.

He’s literally the opposite of the kind of role model you’d want for a boy.

Dump him and find a decent man. They’re not all knuckle dragging Neanderthals (in attitude).

Floofydawg · 20/04/2023 13:04

Agree with everyone else - he's a prick and you need to get rid. But this isn't really about step-parenting. In fact you need to never let him be in that position in your son's life.

Skybluepinky · 20/04/2023 13:21

Run for the hills and don’t stop.

GrumpyPanda · 21/04/2023 08:17

What have I just read.

moonspiral · 21/04/2023 12:07

Why the fuck are you with him?

Daleksatemyshed · 23/04/2023 11:22

Your child will be miles better off without this man, he is not a fit role model for any young boy

MintJulia · 23/04/2023 11:31

Your boyfriend is fundamentally wrong. Get rid of him ASAP and protect your child from such nasty ideas. You are a mum and your child's safety needs to come first.

At the same time protect yourself from someone who is already undermining your confidence.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread