Am I overreacting

[exdrivesmemad]

Last night DP and I were out together. He’s having the kids extra this weekend and picking them up later today.
At around midnight, his ex sent a message “can you get something for me?” He answered “what?” And she wrote back “2 bags of crisps”
I find this a great overstepping of boundaries.
1 It’s midnight.
2 why does he have to go to the shops for her.
He just thinks it is funny but it makes me feel uncomfortable.

No, youre not overreacting.
Its not appropriate to text an ex at midnight and definetely not about something trivial like this.
And the fact that he answered and thought it was funny (i.e. he doesnt see the lack of boundaries) is concerning.
I have a DP who let his ex manipulate him. He supposedly wasnt the type of man to be manipulated, wouldnt take orders from anybody, but she used flattery and he thought she was his friend. She didnt hesitate one second to cause issues between us and he still thought I was overreacting. It was very tedious for me to make him understand that it was not ok.
Are there other signs of lack of boundaries with regards to the ex? If yes, have a good talk with him. And if the relation isnt that great in general, I wouldnt waste my time.

I absolutely agree with the reply that said she is testing him to see how far he will go for her! My DHs ex wife did this to him, especially when we first got together. My DH spoke to her about boundaries but it didn't stop to a degree until she met her now DH

We are 9 years on now and she's still a diva but my DH handles it appropriately and away from me as he knows I'm ready to absolutely rip her head off but my DH and 2 step daughters stop me from doing so. I have no idea what her DH thinks and feels about her behaviour towards my husband. My DHs ex wife is one of those women who doesn't care about what other people say/do or their feelings she will do it anyway if she wants it, almost like she has no boundaries.

All that matters is how your DP handles her. You can't control her actions but your DP absolutely can if he wants to be in a relationship with you. If he runs to her at the drop of a hat to do these things for her I'd be considering the future of the relationship. Sounds harsh but it's not healthy behaviour in a relationship to run about after an ex.

She can get her own crisps when he collects the kids - she will have plenty of time and no hassle to shop then.

Does he often run errands for her? Tbh that’s a level of familiarity I’d expect in a relationship, not outside of one.

I think you are absolutely wasting your time as a third wheel in their dynamic.

Heath scare has become rather more important than crisps. It’s him that is bringing me things in hospital.

This. He can’t control her and neither can you, but he can choose what he does and says.