Easter

[OhBoilYeKettle]

Feel like H is being a bit ridiculous about this!

We share a 3 year old and he also has two older children who are 9 and 12 with his ex

The children are coming to us tomorrow morning. My husband is saying we need to hold back some eggs of our sons so all the children have the same amount at ours, I think that's stupid.

Basically our child has an egg from us, my mum, my dad, two from one of my grandparents and one from the other and one from my sister so in total they have 7 and I was going to do a little egg hunt around the house for them with these. He's been doing about Easter in nursery and has been talking all week about chocolate Sunday 😂 most of DS's eggs are smaller due to him only being young.

DSC have one from us, one from my mum and one from one of my grandparents each so 3 each but most of these are the normal sized eggs, Maltesers etc..

I don't think we need to hide any of our sons eggs. I think it's silly. DSC will have come from their mum's that's morning where they'll have been given eggs from her and her family anyway and I imagine will probably have more in total as they do most years.

AIBU to say I'm not going to hide our sons eggs from him?

DH is always a bit silly about things like this imo.

Dsc are great siblings to our little boy and I imagine will be more interested in helping him with his egg hunt than their own anyway, they dote on him.

Your husband is being a dick.

Don't hide the eggs.

Tell him due to the age gap of 6-9 years their eggs and other presents amounts are always going to be different. This is even if they were full siblings.

Secondly if the younger one gets more eggs there is nothing stopping the younger one sharing. I use to get all the Easter eggs from extended family and friends on my mother's side and share them.

Tell your dick of a DH to grow up.

Normally with these sorts of things I'd say carry on. However, will the DSC be there for the Easter egg hunt? If they are then I would hide the same number of eggs each otherwise it causes problems when it comes to sharing them out.

I wouldn't encourage that, the DSD aren't going to be sharing theirs.

Yeah I think your husband is being a bit ridiculous. His kids are old enough to understand the situation and they'll have had eggs from their mum's side while the 7 eggs your DC has will be their lot.

Honestly OP you need to nip this shit in the bud or you'll end up with the dynamic where your DC can't have/do anything without your H insisting it's not fair on DSC. He (your H) needs to accept this situation as it is, not how he'd like/thinks it should be, his older DC have a whole life, family, occasions and presents aside from his relationship with them and he needs to factor that in when deciding what's 'fair'.

You see this situation played out time and time again on this board and it's a fundamental disagreement in lots of step families so it's worth getting it ironed out as early as possible. Your DC's life doesn't stop because DSC aren't there and there will always be presents etc from extended family which differ between DC and DSC so the sooner everyone gets to grips with that the better. Don't back down OP, you will be setting a precedent if you do and it will cause nothing but problems further down the line.

How is it logistically going to work though? If you're going to do the egg hunt before DSC are there then fine but if they are joining in I think its going to be very unfair to start telling them it's not shared out at the end.

@thegrain I wasn't 3 when I started sharing my Easter eggs don't worry. 😂

When you get to upper primary age you can start making decisions for yourself.

He's being a bit ridiculous however I would suggest trying to get a few small eggs and doing a joint egg hunt with all three kids as it's good to do things together

You can’t hide things to try to even things out.

No matter how hard DH tries, circumstances and lives between the children are different. Accept it and the children will

They get lots of eggs and your son gets lots of eggs on his hunt. Your DH is being a total idiot. Totally agree with others saying nil this in the bud.

You are a good mum - watch out that your DH does not try to give your DC a second class life because of his guilt about his first family. Carry on fighting for your own DC - they only have you.

What they all said. He’s being ridiculous.

He’s being ridiculous. Needs nipping in the bud now.

Given the children's ages I would agree. I think it's more tricky when children are younger and just see a snapshot of events.

He's being so ridiculous 🙄

As long as you're not planning to get dss to join in with the hunt then hand his eggs over to yours on then crack on. There's always going to be differences because they have different parents and that's ok.