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Original poster

Baptism issue

14 replies

NewMumma91 · 04/04/2023 18:31

My partner's ex arranged for their little boy a baptism (7yo)
This week we've been told that it's on Sunday (this week)
Been told the time and day but no location. This usually happens when she wants a last minute kick off saying that we forced her to give the details. The little one asked me and my partner to go and told us where to go to because he is scared and doesn't want to do it.

They agreed in court of the baptism and we have 50/50 can we be denied to go or realistically we can just show up?

OP posts:
Desperatelywantinganother · 04/04/2023 18:41

Call the church and ask?

Daisydu · 04/04/2023 18:42

A church is normally open to the public so you could just go.

ArdeteiMasazxu · 04/04/2023 18:48

he is scared and doesn't want to do it.

If the child being brought for baptism is old enough to understand the question (minister's discretion but perhaps 5yo) then the liturgy requires that the minister asks them "do you want to be baptised". they are allowed to answer "no"

I hope no one is using the sacraments to score points between waring sections of a fragmented family. The child's wellbeing is more important than who wins what moral high ground.

thegrain · 04/04/2023 20:05

NewMumma91 · 04/04/2023 18:31

My partner's ex arranged for their little boy a baptism (7yo)
This week we've been told that it's on Sunday (this week)
Been told the time and day but no location. This usually happens when she wants a last minute kick off saying that we forced her to give the details. The little one asked me and my partner to go and told us where to go to because he is scared and doesn't want to do it.

They agreed in court of the baptism and we have 50/50 can we be denied to go or realistically we can just show up?

The little one asked me and my partner to go and told us where to go to because he is scared and doesn't want to do it.

They agreed in court of the baptism and we have 50/50 can we be denied to go or realistically we can just show up?

why did your partner agree. Can he go to court again quickly and stop it?! The child doesn't want it! Could he ring the church and say his son has said he doesn't want to do it? Are you planning on showing up to stop it? Or to make him do it?

hourbyhour101 · 04/04/2023 22:04

I suspect the little boy doesn't want to do it because he thinks there might be a fight.

Given what OPs put that's probably a accurate description of what's going to go down.

If court agreed it just ask directly for the church name or if you know which one she goes to just ask.

Original poster
NewMumma91 · 04/04/2023 23:16

Little one has not been raised in religion and has questions about god so he is scared to make a promise. We tried to excite him for it despite us not being believers either. Tbh I think it was the only demand in court she could ask for with logic so my partner agreed.
I don't anticipate conflict as OP plays a lovely part in public she is only abusive via messages or behind closed doors. It's just emotional abuse more than anything but we've been experiencing it for the past 5 years despite op being the one cheating and leaving the relationship.

We've also asked for the details but considering that even date and time only been provided a week before the baptism, i anticipate her trying to engage in further drama.
We will go, sit in the back, quietly, and just support the little man, so he knows he can count on us.

OP posts:
Luredbyapomegranate · 04/04/2023 23:17

You can just go to the church, it’s public.

KnickerlessParsons · 04/04/2023 23:57

I doubt he's being baptised on an Easter Sunday, the holiest day of the year.

ArdeteiMasazxu · 05/04/2023 00:19

it's been traditional for the past 2000ish years to do baptisms and confirmations on Easter Saturday. At some times, Easter Saturday was the only day you could have a baptism unless it was an "emergency" baptism for someone not expected to live long. you nat have been told the date +1day "by accident" so that you aren't there.

JanglyBeads · 05/04/2023 00:26

Is it Catholic or Protestant baptism? That will make a difference to the day I think.

WestminsterAbbey · 05/04/2023 00:29

Easter Sunday? Seen as a good day for baptim

KnickerlessParsons · 05/04/2023 10:36

ArdeteiMasazxu · 05/04/2023 00:19

it's been traditional for the past 2000ish years to do baptisms and confirmations on Easter Saturday. At some times, Easter Saturday was the only day you could have a baptism unless it was an "emergency" baptism for someone not expected to live long. you nat have been told the date +1day "by accident" so that you aren't there.

Interesting! Thank you.

escapingthecity · 05/04/2023 10:38

Are there other family members you can ask?

thegrain · 05/04/2023 10:46

If he doesn't want to do it I wouldn't be going to encourage and support him. I'd be ringing the church and saying you don't think he's ready yet.

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