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Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

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Original poster

Mothers day gift for DS stepmum

22 replies

Lwrenagain · 16/02/2023 16:50

Hiya, I'm wondering if someone could give me advice.
My DS is 16 and on mother's day I make sure he gets his stepmum a present.
Shes very kind to him, she deserves recognition and I like knowing if anything was to happen to me, she'd keep him on track of being a good person.
The thing is, I'd like to get her something that let's her know how appreciated she is, maybe a keepsake as opposed to flowers and chocolates because this will probably be the last year I arrange her present and I'll just be reminding him to get her something in future, he's old enough now.

Would a bracelet or keyring or something she could keep be a nice idea or should I just stick to flowers?

I am aware I've over thought this massively, however she's just a fantastic addition to my sons life and I'd like her to know.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

plumduck · 16/02/2023 16:52

Aw that's so nice maybe a nice bracelet?

iwannascream · 16/02/2023 16:54

I'm a step mum myself to 3 now adults and I think this one of the nicest posts i've seen on here regarding step mums.

I think that a keepsake is a really lovely idea, and i'm sure she will cherish it.

GetUps · 16/02/2023 16:55

Aw that is nice. So she'd know this year is extra special because this is the last one you're doing? Otherwise it.might seem a bit OTT.

CliffsofMohair · 16/02/2023 16:55

You are just so lovely. Your son is lucky to have the benefit of you nurturing your relationship with his stepmother.
No useful gift suggestions!

plumduck · 16/02/2023 16:56

I got a nice mug one year

Laurdo · 16/02/2023 16:57

This is so refreshing to read! Your son is extremely lucky to have 2 wonderful women in his life.

A bracelet sounds lovely. I'm sure she'll cherish it foverer.

Laurdo · 16/02/2023 16:59

What about something that symbolises how many years she's been his stepmum? Or the year she became his stepmum?

Bobbybobbins · 16/02/2023 16:59

How lovely. If there is a nice photo of her with your DS I would get a frame for it- love giving nice framed pics as gifts

plumduck · 16/02/2023 17:00

Bobbybobbins · 16/02/2023 16:59

How lovely. If there is a nice photo of her with your DS I would get a frame for it- love giving nice framed pics as gifts

Ooh or a locket

NorthernSpirit · 16/02/2023 17:02

This is such a lovely post. The SM is so lucky that you are so supportive of their relationship.

Does your son have any ideas on a gift? Could he chose something?

I’m so touched by this - I’ve been in my 2 SC’s lives 9 years. SC are now 14 & 17. They or their mother would never think to get me a card or present. I really applaud you 👏

Original poster

Lwrenagain · 16/02/2023 17:03

So I'm not being a bit pushy? Phew! Thank you ladies!
I'll have a good look at etsy then.

I'd hate to make her feel uncomfortable but it's always signed from my ds.

A bracelet seems a nice option, something that she can keep and know it's been chosen especially for her.

I'm beyond grateful to her, being a stepmum is absolutely awful at times and she's just been kind, respectful and loving towards him since he was 7 and I make sure that he realises he's super lucky to have her.

I hope you are all given lots of appreciation and gratitude for all you do stepmums! x

OP posts:

Original poster

Lwrenagain · 16/02/2023 17:05

Ooh I have a excellent photo I could use of them! Thank you, that's a fantastic idea! ❤

OP posts:

plumduck · 16/02/2023 17:09

Lwrenagain · 16/02/2023 17:05

Ooh I have a excellent photo I could use of them! Thank you, that's a fantastic idea! ❤

There might be a way of getting a photocharm on a bracelet? I'd love that.

Original poster

Lwrenagain · 16/02/2023 17:11

@plumduck wow, that would be so cool! I'm off to Google now 😂 thank you!

OP posts:

Soozikinzii · 16/02/2023 17:13

I'm a step mum since my DS was 2 . Those keyring charms on etsy are nice with messages on . And my SS now 45 always gets me a card moreso than my DSs .

thestepmumspacepodcast · 21/02/2023 13:40

Lovely OP! And I bet your son is well rounded and has strong relationships with both is parents because of your approach! If only more biomums were like you!

Original poster

Lwrenagain · 21/02/2023 17:14

Ah ladies thank you!
I'm pregnant so quite hormonal and your kind replies have given me tears! ❤

I really hope he carries the tradition of getting her cards and something to say she's appreciated.
She has from day 1 been fair, firm and loving.
Teenagers don't always understand why a stepparent is asking them to do, or not do something. But she has handled that with class, always explaining what she expects from him and rewarding him for tasks etc, she's younger than me by alot and also English isn't her mother tongue, so that could have been difficult for her, but she's just nailed being a parent!
It's little things she does, like calls her dog his sister, that makes me happy. Always includes him.
She also was there for his first ever plane journey and text me to let me know how he was getting on etc. To me, thats beautiful.
In the pandemic he ended up being stuck with his dad and SM for weeks, which she didn't sign up to, a bored teen to support day in and out. But she was happy to have him and made a fuss of him, really feel quite emotional thinking about that, because I missed him so much and yet, was lucky enough to know that he was safe and loved due to her.
His dad is great in many respects, but he's very black and white and just leaves my teen to his own devices, I know SM actively includes him and its just very touching.

My DH (who's my sons SD) have noticed that since SM has been on the scene, the quality of his visits to his dad's are dramatically better.

I'd never say this to her as she'd be mortified I reckon, but she's been a dream and I hope my son will always cherish her.

I hope that you are all told how appreciated you are, stepparenting isn't for the faint hearted ❤

OP posts:

thestepmumspacepodcast · 21/02/2023 18:16

I missed him so much and yet, was lucky enough to know that he was safe and loved due to her.

@Lwrenagain this is a beautiful line and lots of mothers could learn from you xx

Londono · 21/02/2023 18:22

I'd have loved to have heard some of what you've written about your son's stepmum when I was a stepmum so don't discount sending her a handwritten card saying something nice.

As it happens, I'm still very close to my now adult stepson even though his father and I have since split up - he comes to stay for weekends and eats me out of house and home and I visit him where he lives and we always see each other over the Christmas period.

I am not on speaking terms with my EX or his new partner but I agree that our DC's time with him has improved since she has been on the scene - my DD remarked that they now have fruit in the house for example when previously dinners were pizza/burgers/pizza/burgers.

windywoo78 · 21/02/2023 18:23

Aww this is so lovely. I know you said she'd be mortified and I obviously don't know the type of relationship you have, but she might actually really appreciate hearing all this. I know I'd be chuffed if it were me

OnceUponAThread · 21/02/2023 18:48

This is such a lovely idea. What a wonderful parent you are. So genuinely nice.

AccidentallyRunToWindsor · 22/02/2023 19:43

That's lovely to hear you appreciate her so much! I am sure she would love a present, personally a card with some of the things you appreciate her for and flowers would be nice?

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