How I coped today.

[stepkidscopingstrategy]

Youngest DSS irritates me tremendously.
He is not a pleasant child at the moment (understatement of the frikkin year)
My coping strategy today was
1)avoidance (of him)
2) I have a book by my bed: This too shall pass.
3) I have some crystals which seem to give me a feeling of peace when I hold them.

Wish I could get a grip on my feelings of anger and resentment towards him.

Anyone any other tips?

Go out

It's January (the seemingly never ending month of the year) which will make his behaviour feel even worse.

Getting away for the whole weekend occasionally can be hugely beneficial, because the total break and escapism gives you a great re-set. Can you stay with a family member now and again?

Otherwise avoid, have plans, meet friends (esp for meals), see a movie, spring cleaning, tax return 😆

Wine

Don’t envy you.

Get away from the house.
Failing that, curl up with a book / tv and cuppa (or wine, gin,….,) in your bedroom and close the door.

Solidarity. It’s tough at times.

It can be tough. It’s a crap time of year too.
you could go out and have a day treating yourself… meet up with some friends.
Drink some wine, read a book. I wouldn’t suggest shutting yourself in your room and totally avoiding to be honest.

I went through a tough time with my step son when he was around 6/7 .. he was really unpleasant for a short time and my eldest was very young at the time and my hormones were all over the place. After avoiding him once or twice I decided I was the grown up and I threw myself into trying to understand him and connect more. It actually worked and I’m so pleased I did it.

You may not feel like you can or may not want to but it’s just a suggestion. Sending hugs xx

I feel your pain. I used to hate the weekends they visited. I bought my own home to escape it.
I now have a life free of his children.
I would highly recommend, failing that avoid relationships with men with children altogether.

Haha great tips- wish I could live alone sometimes!
I'm doing a wine evening tomorrow with some new friends who live close by. I don't have any family or old friends local to us. They are all at least an hour away.

Unfortunately he lives with us full time. His mum is truly a crap mum.

His dad takes me away every couple of weeks for a nice weekend and his older sister looks after him so me and dad do well and get on great. Dad does keep saying it's an age thing with him and I do think he is right. But it is hard.

I took DSS out for tea a couple of weeks ago and that seemed to help us both.
His age (hormones) and the fact he is not my biological child does not help the situation.
I will take him out for dinner again tomorrow.

I've just taken his console out of his room now as he had all dirty bowls and knives stashed away in his cupboards - we have a no food upstairs rule.. so he won't like me this afternoon either.
He can have it back when his dirty room is cleaned up a bit. I don't have high expectations - I'm not expecting him to lick the floor clean like a true evil stepmother

Oh bless you.

My DSS is nearly 10 and when we've had him lately he's been really rude to me and pushed my buttons.

This weekend I'm going out with a friend for lunch because last time he was here he completely ignored me and nearly caused an accident so I need to get away before resentment kicks in.

I know it'll pass because until recently he's been adorable.

Wine

I'd leave. A child, even a badly behaved child doesn't deserve to have someone who's very contemptuous being around him.

I felt like this about my own 4 year old today.. Who lay down on the floor screaming.
Calm down, op is allowed to feel stressed out children esp teenagers are not always a delight

I'm pretty certain that the OP would not bother taking him out for dinner if she felt contempt. More that she's finding it hard and this is a safe space to vent. It's pretty clear she's doing a fair bit of parenting which is hard when it's 1) not your own child 2) they're not being a very nice child at present.

Thanks for the non judgement all.
Really appreciate it. Thought I was going to be bashed but you've made me feel better.

If it helps I feel like this about my own children currently. Toddlers a nightmare and babies teething so my DSD is my current favourite- but that can change on a second by second basis and if in doubt I say they all annoy me in equal measures.

8/9 seems to be a nightmare age. But like 2/3 but harder to move lol.

Ignore the posters being silly.

@hourbyhour101 haha yes thanks it does help. I think I've forgotten the issues I had with my DC's when they were that age because it was so long ago! I just feel like I'm too old for this shit if you know what I mean.
And I also have switching favorites 😂
The DSS 15 is my bestie. I'm the mum he wanted but never had and he loves me and appreciates me to bits. He also winds me round his little finger as dad likes to point out.