If i marry, will dsd have access to my assets

[evilstepmum666]

Dp & I have a dd each & a ds together.

Dp's dd will inherit well from her gp's. Both sides.

My dd doesnt have a relationship with her dad & has nobody to inherit from apart from me.

I have far more than dp asset wise & i only want this to go to my 2 children & not dsd.

If we marry, will these wishes go out the window? How can I protect that

This 100%. If you’re Joint Tenants, your DH automatically gets your share of the house if you die. Then he can leave it to anyone he wants.

Go to a solicitor, explain what you want and they will draw up your Will accordingly. A lot can be done to ensure your assets go where you want when you die. DH and I have organised ours so that if one of us dies, the surviving partner can’t disinherit our DCs and deprive them of what the deceased parent would have left them. We did pretty much what @KangarooKenny said. We couldn’t have done it with a DIY will - it’s written in legalese that’s very hard for a non-lawyer to understand.

Echo other posters - see a will writer or solicitor. DIY wills make me cringe!

Yes do NOT DIY. It's too important to screw up.

If you marry and divorce (after a reasonably long marriage (10 yrs ish) he will be entitled to half your assets, house etc.

If you die and leave a will leaving most of your assets to your DC he can overturn the will to keep at least 50% of your assets if not more.
If you die without a will it all goes to your husband (except Scotland which has rules including DC).
If you adopt the DSD it gives her equal rights as your DC.

There's more but it gets more complicated.
So the answer is to write a will giving your DH the right to live in the family home until death (or downsizing) on a Trust, and then leave it to your DC. By then the DSD will be an independent adult and no claim on your assets, however you have to get a solicitor to look at this. Maybe mirror wills is a way to go?

@purpledalmation mirror wills can be changed. So unless you mean wills that mirrors what you suggest.

Also one issue with placing houses in trust is that the wording needs to be very clear on who is responsible for the day-to-day up keep of the house and major repairs e.g. person living in the property.

Get some expert advice. STEP members can help with complex estate planning if you need it. www.step.org/about-step

Why marry if you cannot state to him exactly how you feel about the distribution of your assets? Is the concern that he will not wish to marry you if you are honest with him? Can you not say to him that you wish to limit your assets to your biological children? Is he not entitled to say whether he wishes to be married to someone who wants to take that approach?

When you two have that conversation, the outcome of that conversation will tell you whether marriage between the 2 of you is wise.

You could both get a will made to say whatever you want it to say and have it written into the will that you don't want it changed in the event of marriage...

It’s usually about protecting children though, isn’t it? And often in the case of the women having less money it’s because of being more involved in the childcare aspect, while the man can grow his career. So yes, but what you’re saying is a far too simplistic view.

This is tricky because your shared son will inherit from you, his dad and his grandparents. Meanwhile, your Dd will share your assets with her brother. Does she have grandparents? Has your DP said your Dd will inherit some of his assets? I wouldn’t marry if I was in your position. Sounds too messy and not worth disrupting an otherwise happy relationship.

My partner and I will be doing exactly as @KangarooKenny has posted.

I will not have my dd lose out on my assets because they end up being shared between her and my partners 3 children.

I’ve been very clear on this with him from the outset.

Any shared child we may go on to have would share from each of our assets separately.

Do not get married. Go see a solicitor about protecting your assets to be handed down to your children, including the equity in your home.

Please see a solicitor and get proper advice. Even if you have an up to date Will now a marriage will invalidate it and you will need to update. Also as pp's said how you own your home is important.

Because having children makes you financially vulnerable

If after marrying him you die before he does and intestate it will all go to him.

If he remarries after your passing and is intestate his wife will determine it.

If he then dies intestate it'll be left to his children to determine how assets will be shared.

Get a will made.

What a load of rubbish. Even you couldn't phrase those options as mirror image statements.

Anyone, male or female, with assets should be wary of marriage. If you intend to have children however marriage is protective if one parent sacrifices earnings for childcare or other domestic work. If a woman has children and does not marry, she should prioritise her career/work. Same for men. They would both need to pay for childcare and take equal time off as necessary for illness/dentist appointments/ school holidays, etc.

If a man wants the woman to stay home, raise the kids and do the domestic work, he should of course marry and be prepared to split the wealth.

If a man were asking the OP's question, my advice would be the same: do not marry. See a solicitor. Make sure your money goes to your children, after ensuring that your dp will still have a home and live comfortably if you die.