This time last year I’d been with DP for a few months after splitting with exH earlier in the year. My youngest was very very sick (diagnosed with leukaemia October last year, aged 3). Both mine and DP’s exes were very angry and bitter, I’d just moved a long way (back to my family so they could help with DCs due to youngest being so poorly, at exH’s instigation as he didn’t want to have to take the time off to help) and was living out of bags and suitcases with the DC.
DP has been utterly amazing the whole time we’ve been together. Nothing has fazed him, he’s just quietly been there, supporting me, loving me, being an absolute rock and my best friend to boot. We moved in together a few months ago (he has DSD 50/50 and DSS full time as he lost his mum as a baby and exW has totally washed her hands of him and hasn’t seen him since not long after the split). The children have done amazingly and all seem settled and happy and well balanced. Everyone’s needs and wants are met, we treat them all fairly and equitably and make time for them individually and together. They love each other and often refer to each other as siblings despite us making it clear there’s no obligation and they can relate to each other however they wish. I started a new job a few weeks ago which has had quite an intense initial training period and DP has been picking up the slack (housework, cooking, fetching and carrying children to their various clubs and Xmas dos) with no aggro or resentment.
We had our main Xmas day on Xmas eve as my DC and DSD went to their other parents for Xmas day this year. All the kids got equal amounts of stuff, no unfairness or prioritising any one over another. DP and I both chipped in to sort the (massive!) Xmas dinner, we had an open house policy all day so family popped in and out throughout the day. And I sat in the middle of the Christmas carnage and thought - we’ve done it. Over the last year we’ve built a family, it’s not the most traditional, it’s crazy and hectic, it’s a bit wonky and patched together, but it works.
Little DD is through the worst of her treatment and doing infinitely better - this time last year she was relearning how to walk after the brutal initial treatment cycle. This year she’s like a normal child again. The threat of relapse is still there but for now, she’s doing amazing and that’s what matters. We both have civil, friendly relationships with our respective exes - no game playing, no using the children as weapons.
I love DP in a way I didn’t know was possible; I wish I’d known years ago that relationships could be like this instead of spending so many years feeling lonely and let down. I love DSD and DSS, not quite the same as I love my own DC, but I love them nonetheless. We are all better for having each other. And I’m pretty sure DP is going to ask me to marry him at some point soon. And having said I’d never get married again, and then once again discovering that life throws curveballs at you that make you reevaluate everything you thought you knew - I’m pretty sure I’ll say yes.