Blended family/teenage issues all rolled into one

[Tiredoftoday13]

Please help me. Our blended family was going ok for the first few years, yes we had hiccups but don’t we all. Then there was an allegation against myself (police involved but all charges dropped as found to be malicious) at the same time as my Father passed away. Having to deal with police, the death, ofsted (as I was involved in working in education) it kind’ve threw me a little.
Now 6 years down the line, having been ill, counselling and various other options to try and help deal with it, it is still very much an issue. Now the DSC are both teenagers, this obviously is coming with it’s own issues, but I’m struggling to cope and deal with the hurt that the children and Mum caused me.

Help please. How to get over/round/through this? As I really love their Dad very much and want to save our marriage.

Have the DSC apologised to you?

Yes they did but not sure they understand the impact that it has had on me and their Dad and the family dynamics/relationship

I'm not sure I'd be able to move past it. How long do you think it will be before they leave home?

I'm struggling to even after 6 years. They are only just teens so 5-10 yrs possibly.

How often do you see them? Do you have kids with DH? I'm wondering if it's worth DH renting a flat everytime he wants to see them. I know that would be expensive but I don't see why you should have to be round them.

We have them every other week. No we don't have children together. We wouldn't be able to afford that with all the other bills and stuff. I need to work it out and get it sorted

I wouldn’t allow someone in my home that made malicious accusations, I’d be too concerned they might repeat it.

Was it the children or the mother who made the malicious allegation?

Hotcoffee22 - unfortunately it's been an ongoing occurrence, luckily not with police every time but we've had many accusations made against myself and the Dad.

Lilithslove - it was the children but being told by the Mum what to say. That's how luckily they realised it was malicious because the children's story kept changing each time people spoke to them

I wouldn’t risk it.