New support thread

[AutumnCaramelApples]

Thought I’d set up a new support thread for those who want to chat / vent / ask for advice or even share nice stories.

How is everyone doing as we head into another weekend?

They are here. They are already moaning about it being cold. DH is mumbling about turning the heating up. DSC2 is in SHORTS.

I've made plans though so hopefully weekend will fly by now.

@pastabakeonaplate I’d absolutely tell him to go and put some warmer clothes on first. Sometimes it is simpler to bite your tongue though.

Both SC have just arrived here (16 & 18). We have them EOW. I’ve just been told they’re now here for the next two weekends and their mum wants us to have them for a third weekend - she’s not given a reason but as it’s my birthday that particular weekend I suspect she’s just trying to disrupt things. Any time she gets a sniff of us having plans as a couple she tries to cause issues.
It’s so stressful with his ex in the background the whole time.

My SC always turn up in completely inappropriate clothes. We live on a farm and they come dressed in cycling shorts and T-shirts. They never have jeans or jumpers so they complain about doing anything outside. I don't know who dresses them, their mum or themselves but they are always complaining about. The cold and turning the heating up

@AutumnCaramelApples at least it will kind of be over for you soon considering their ages

We are on the 3rd weekend in a row too - usually EOW. Makes such a difference having that weekend "off" mentally.

@AutumnCaramelApples If they’re 16 and 18 I’d entirely ignore their mum and tell them that you have made plans for that weekend. They’re far too old for their mother to be deciding on when they see their dad, etc.

Or is the problem that your DH won’t do this?

@kanyoukan I think the only answer is to buy clothes for your house and have them change when they arrive (if necessary). They can change back into the cycling shorts when it’s time for them to go back to their mum’s.

Ahhhh this was us last night as well! Turned up in shorts and a t shirt. Am not turning the fucking heating up.

No, and what gets me is its been cold here all week but as soon as the DSC are cold coz they've turned up in those tiny shorts they like to wear DH suddenly starts contemplating the heating. He wasn't bothered until they turned up.

Anyway I am off out today and leaving all the kids with him.

@pastabakeonaplate I'd tell him he's paying the gas bill then. My husband bollocked his son for wearing inappropriate clothing.

Good idea!

@kanyoukan definitely second having clothes just for your house. We went through this years ago with SC mum. They’d turn up in completely inappropriate clothing for the weather, they’d end up going home in clothes that we bought for them and those clothes would never be seen again. The next time they’d turn up in the wrong sort of clothes again.
We quickly became wise to this and would send them home in what they’d turned up in.

@SudocremOnEverything well I do often have a “DH problem” when it comes to the SC.
She isn’t getting her third weekend though as I’ve put my foot down and DH has told her it’s not happening. Funnily enough every year she happens to be “busy” and tries to tell us we HAVE TO have the SC on my birthday.
Instead….. she’s been on to the SC this morning and said they’re to tell their Dad that in that case they are now staying here for at least the next 10 nights.
She doesn’t like being told no that one. 🤦‍♀️

It’s fundamentally weird that her young adult and near adults sons are being treated like primary school aged children who must be looked after. 🙄

glad you’re getting your birthday to do what you’d planned.

I hate it when mum goes through DSC. They ought to sort it out between themselves.

I've worked all weekend so it has been a nice break.

I second the clothing at your home. When my DSC were young they would come in clothes and small to small/tight/dirty and relay the message that mum said you can wash them and make yourself useful and loads of other rubbish. It didn't go down well when we started keeping the stuff we brought with us and sending them home in what they came in but it ment they have what they need and we didn't need to buy new outfits and shoes every week

My DSC got fed up of keeping seperate clothes here so DH buys them the basics and they take their outfits back and forth. Don't really want to rock the boat there. We are going to make sure they have oodies next time.