Wills and step kids

[Padgie]

Hi everyone. 22 weeks pregnant with first child. Engaged to partner with 7 year old son from ex wife. Drawing up a will for the first time. Not intending to leave anything for step son. Step son's mother earns quater of a million per year and has no other kids. Partner is upset by my intentions to only write my biological children into my will. Anyone in a similar scenario? Keen to hear how you set your arrangements and how those arrangements were received by your partner.

Its irrelevent. The day OP and DP get married, BOTH their pre-marriage Wills are extinct.

It's normal and simplest to leave your inheritance to your biological (or adopted) children. I'd leave a token gift but that would be all.

It depends on the individual circumstances. But I am leaving my assets solely to DD. DH (if he outlives me) can leave the entirety of his estate split between his 3 children.
I doubt my SC would expect to inherit from me.

You’re absolutely right to leave your inheritance to your baby. You’re partner can choose to leave his inheritance to his children (all of them).

Is he insisting on using his surname for the baby when you’re not married too?

Partner is upset by my intentions to only write my biological children into my will. then I strongly advise you leave him.

Your boyfriend is being very odd here indeed. What is his rationale for you leaving something for his son in your will? It is irrelevant what his ex or anyone earns, the idea is bizarre.

Please give your baby your surname at the time of your baby's birth. Don't be guilt-tripped into doing otherwise. Think long and hard if you want to stay with someone like this. You won't be allowed to do anything with your own children, without your boyfriend's child.

My half of our assets are going 2 ways, DH's half of our assets are going 3 ways. When my parents die, I will be holding their money in trust to go 2 ways between my two, however I will have a nominal amount from me directly to stepdd. Stepdds mum has no other children and has several houses, so stepdd will not be in need.

Joint house will be split between all 4 DC, my other properties and cash from inheritance just between my two DC

My half goes to our shared DC, DH half goes to all of his (has two older DC). We did ours after marriage so as PP have said make sure you redo yours if/when you marry him. We own our house 50/50 as tenants in common.

He's the only one who needs to split his assets, not you.

@HollyJollypup

P.s. extra 2% to pay the solicitor etc

The % percentages are calculated only once all taxes and costs have been calculated against the estate, so they they are CV paid only exactly what they bill.

Do you have anyone named as residual legatee to gets whatever is v left ? Normally I'm all for diy wills but id advise you to get some good legal advice about how this will work in practice.

Partner is upset by my intentions to only write my biological children into my will.

One way forward here is to write your will to match DP's on the assumption that he will go first and you can then change yours either immediately or at any point in the future.

However, this can equally happen the other way round.

Of DHs half of our assets they are shared between the three children whereas mine is shared between my two. DH never batted an eyelid to be honest.

Exactly the same here.

My now DH was also upset when we sorted out wills when I was pregnant and we were buying our first house together and he realised I had no intention of leaving my assets to his DD.

It was a knee jerk "my children are equal, this isn't fair" reaction which he got over when I explained that all his children would have 2 parents to inherit (or not) from so they would all be equal that way. He just hadn't really thought about our house as being half his and half mine, which is where tenants in common Vs joint tenants came into play.
My half of the house goes to our children, his half of the house goes to me, with life insurance in place for DSD. This will be reviewed as the children get older, but I can't imagine the day when I will feel the need to take from my children to give to DSD when she has her own mum to inherit from. It just wouldn't be fair.

You are completely reasonable. Your child has two parents from whom he/she will inherit. Your dsc has two parents from whom he/she will inherit.

Your dp is being completely unfair unless his ex is going to contribute for your child. It's not complicated.

This is not untypical of the Dad of the 'first family' regarding them as sacrosanct and the 'second' family as hardly of deserving of a thought. Tie your will up tighter than a duck's arse to ensure that it is fair to your children.

Never heard that phrase before.

But yes.

If you make a will 'in contemplation of marriage' then it should still stand after you are married.

"Should" isn't really enough. I have a friend who spent thousands contesting a will made by her ex husband that was supposedly made in contemplation of (his second) marriage. The very expensive solicitor had not done it correctly, therefore his wishes were not carried out and his children from his first marriage were completely cut out, despite his will stating clearly that the bulk of his estate was to go to them. I would think it is safer to make a new will to be signed and witnessed the day of the wedding!

There is no right answer, there is only what is right for you.

My SC stand to benefit equally from mine and my husband’s will. I have 2 SC and a shared child with husband. Each child is to inherit 1/3. My daughter will solely inherit my engagement ring, which is a vintage Tiffany sapphire set, worth a small fortune and will give her an extra “something” just from me.

My rationale behind sharing equally is that:

1. Husband and I weren’t wealthy when we met, but have started a successful business and accumulated wealth together.
2. I have been helping to raise my SC since they were very small.
3. I adore my SC. It would be remiss to pretend that I love them the same as my daughter. I love them just as much but the way I feel / type of love is different. They are my family, although they are not my children and I WANT them to benefit equally.
4. Their mother is dirt poor and has a drug and gambling addiction. They aren’t set to inherit from all angles.

If I were in your situation, I would do as you have done. Everyone is different. Stick to your guns.

I will be leaving everything of mine to my biological child and expect DH to split his equally between our shared DC and DSD, who has a mother of her own to inherit from.
You're totally reasonable to not short change your own child.

Has he spoken to his ex wife yet about how much she'll be leaving your child in her will? What's sauce for the goose and all that 🤷 he's being wierd!

Your situation is completely different though. OPs DSC has a mother bringing in 1/4 million a year!