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Original poster

Step siblings sharing a room

33 replies

Roomsharing · 30/09/2022 22:17

are there any guidelines around step siblings sharing rooms? What are your views on 7 year old and 16 year old (same sex/ gender) step siblings sharing a room?

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pitchforksandflamethrowers · 30/09/2022 22:36

There's no rule book that I know of blended families but I'm sure someone will be along to say forcing DSC to share means your a evil step parent.

That aside I shared with my step siblings and there was a larger age gap and now we are really close. Perfectly fine to share if room is a issue. You can always put a divider up if rooms large enough

AnneLovesGilbert · 30/09/2022 22:41

It’s your home, no laws around who sleeps where. People get confused around the guidance for room sharing in social housing but you can’t legislate for overcrowding or just what works for each family.

If that’s the best option and the DC are okay with it what’s the alternative?

notdaddycool · 30/09/2022 22:43

There may be issues if it was one Child’s and They lose half the room, or if they don’t get in and are forced together, but don’t think there would be any legal guidance.

SpinningFloppa · 30/09/2022 22:44

There’s no laws even for social housing it’s just guidance and when you can bid for a bigger property, doesn’t mean you will get one especially in places like London where the waiting list is extremely long

HammerMyhome · 30/09/2022 22:48

That sounds horrible for the older child

parietal · 30/09/2022 22:50

there are no laws

is the room big enough to give each child their own 'area'? they each need a bit of private space, even if it is small, if they don't want to share.

Luredbyapomegranate · 30/09/2022 23:02

The teen is not going to be keen on that. I would think that’s the problem, not laws.

Original poster
Roomsharing · 30/09/2022 23:10

Thanks everyone.

I’m the parent of the younger child and the room
sharing is taking place at his Dad’s. My DS isn’t happy with the arrangement, partially as his step brother plays Call of Duty and other similar games in the room while my DS is trying to go to sleep and partly because DS’s space in the room is top bunk only.

I wanted to get other’s views because I know mine can sometimes be clouded due to being so close to the situation and emotionally involved (due to my DS, not his Dad!!)

OP posts:
SpinningFloppa · 30/09/2022 23:25

You don’t really have a say in what happens at his dads house tbh, I’m guessing he isn’t there often anyway?

caringcarer · 30/09/2022 23:40

Playing 18+ games when a younger child is trying to sleep is not on. Why can't older child play it earlier in the evening? Stepping in same room is ok but older child should be out of room so younger kid can get off to sleep. I'd tell ex it is not ok and DC won't be coming again unless you sort it out.

Isausernameavailable · 30/09/2022 23:44

Nobody should ever have to share a bedroom unless they really want to.

MeridianB · 01/10/2022 08:51

How often, does he stay, OP?

The gaming has to stop. Playing while someone else is trying to sleep is bad enough but age inappropriate (for both boys) is crap parenting.

AnneLovesGilbert · 01/10/2022 09:08

What alternative that’s possible given their accommodation is there? Is there an additional bedroom they could be using for one of the children they’re choosing not to use? How often is your son with his dad?

Bananarama21 · 01/10/2022 09:12

It sounds like it's the older lads bedroom and he's coming to stay is that correct? You don't sound like your living together. Obviously if you are living together it's totally different but I'd imagine it's frustrating an 16 year having to give up some space in his bedroom for a 7 year old.

I have a similar situation with my two boys 14 and 6 they are going to be sharing as my dd is too old to no longer share and unlike mn suggestion of getting a 4 bedroom house it's not financially possible especially in the current climate. We do have a small back room which ds had his console and can relax in before going to bed. He is also at his dads half the week. Is there anything dad can do to make other adjustments so both boys get space.

allboysmum3 · 01/10/2022 10:38

I'm guessing the teen hates having his younger step brother coming into his bedroom once a week. Wouldn't be nice at all. However, your child shouldn't be subjected to games being played when he is asleep. I think your ex needs to fight for your son to be able to sleep.
Looking at it from the other side. My 7 year old has his own bedroom and my two step children come in and share with our younger two children (4 bed). So the three resident children have their own rooms and step children share with their half siblings. They equally dislike the arrangement but they aren't allowed to be in there once the two younger children are in bed. They can't share as are teen boy and girl. Everyone will have their own opinion but what works for you won't work for others.

HollyJollyXmas57 · 01/10/2022 19:05

I don’t see a problem with it.

weekendninja · 01/10/2022 21:24

Isausernameavailable · 30/09/2022 23:44

Nobody should ever have to share a bedroom unless they really want to.

I'm in complete agreement with this.

I wouldn't be happy with the arrangement either OP. I'm not sure where you could go from here though.

Ithurtbad · 02/10/2022 15:19

No wouldn't be happy either

I don't know what can be said or done.

EvieJeanBengal · 03/10/2022 05:04

How on earth is your young son getting any sleep at Ex’s House? The gaming when DS is trying to sleep has to STOP! Your ex needs to put his foot down with the 16yo or have his mother do it. The older one is being selfish, self entitled, rude and exposing your DS to 18 plus content. Not to mention your ex and his whatever she is should be parenting both children so this doesn’t happen.

HowVeryBizarre · 03/10/2022 05:14

The reality of separation means that the housing/bedroom situation for the kids which allows them to maintain their relationship with both parents (which is their legal right) is often less than ideal. The indignant comments on here (“nobody should ever have to share a room unless they want to” is a particular doozy, in which universe!) are ridiculous tbh. Have a chat with the ADULT to see if there is a better solution but if not it might have to be headphones and and an eye mask (I saw this with extensive experience in family law).

StClare101 · 03/10/2022 05:44

Isausernameavailable · 30/09/2022 23:44

Nobody should ever have to share a bedroom unless they really want to.

Sure, this is absolutely realistic because all families have endless funds.

Coffeaddict · 03/10/2022 06:27

Isausernameavailable · 30/09/2022 23:44

Nobody should ever have to share a bedroom unless they really want to.

My DSS shares with his younger brother at his mums house. So according to you this is completely unacceptable and DSS must leave this home immediately to come reside with us where he has his own room. I shall inform his mum. 🤣

OP the sharing alone is not an issue but the exposure to adult content needs to be discussed with you ex.

Isausernameavailable · 04/10/2022 00:07

Coffeeadict - you just make sure everyone has a bedroom, buy/rent big enough for your family.

Why should children share rooms? I wouldn't

OnaBegonia · 04/10/2022 00:19

@Isausernameavailable
You surely realise not everyone has the finances to just up and buy/rent larger houses?
Millions of kids share rooms and no harm comes of it.

mrsfollowill · 04/10/2022 00:28

When I was a kid I had to share a room- there was not an alternative! I shared with my sister until we were 11/12 (and moved to a bigger house) DH and his brother had to share into their late teens/early 20'S. Mil couldn't magic up a bigger house unfortunately!