Money for childcare

[Flawed90]

Hi All

Looking for advice on my current situation.

Been with my DP a few years, live separately but near to each other and no plans to move in together any time soon.

I collect my child and his child from after school club at 5pm, cook dinner for the 4 of us, DP gets back about 6:30. This arrangement works well as I get to see DP in the evenings for a bit.

He has offered to give me money towards looking after his child for that time after school as financially I am worse off than him but my work is more flexible.

My question is what would be a sensible amount to receive from him for this? Potentially taking into account cost of cooking the meal. If it was just me and my child I wouldn't have the oven on daily and would cook meals to eat over 2 to 3 days.

Thanks in advance!

Are you buying food for all 4 of you?
Good that he's recognised you're out of pocket by this arrangement and is going to pay.
How much are you spending on food? Add a few quid for extra use of gas/electricity.

I dont like direct money exchange, could he pay for something else i.e. a food shop/ fill your car up? Could he take your child out with his in the holidays and foot the bill?

Sorry I should have added, we always split the food bill in half.

Well a childminder would cost £4-5p/h for after school care, an after school club same if not more. Its hard isn't it as your doing it anyway for your own son but it's also encroaching on 1-1 time with your son.

I had a similar set up but without the dinner with a friend of mine. I gave her £200 a month, she wouldn't accept anything more but I did make sure I bought nice birthday/Xmas gifts for her too.

What does after school club cost? Ours is about £3 an hour...

£5 a day? He would be paying upwards of £10 an hour for a nanny etc....

The after school club hour from 5-6 is just short of £5 but his dad wouldn't be able to get to him for 6pm.

£10 a day and half the food bill

Ps. He seems to have his head screwed on

£10 a day?! Wtf. So £200 a month?

it’s a hour and a half. She’s his gf, not paid childcare.

I personally wouldn’t take anything from him but I’d expect him to treat you to a meal out or a day out with the kids on him.

@HollyJollyXmas57 tbf though if gf is being expected to regularaly vomit to having the kids - if it's treated paid childcare or unpaid childcare. I know which one breeds less resentment.

Also just because I have a uterus doesn't mean I am willing to be the gatherer of all the village children and watch them while everyone else goes to work, has free time to do whatever.

It's a little unusual but it shows dad understands that regularly childcare by a family member is a privilege not a right.

Please no one utter but "family..." many a evil has started with that little gem and it never ends well iMO.

Op it's usual but I think shows your DH recognises your value. I give my mum a little stipend to say thank you for having my Dd when I work. It's not a lot but it's more a recognition of worth. Your DH seems like he's a considerate soul.

Commit* ffs not vomit excuse typo

What did he do before you got together?